Quotes from Evan Esar

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.

Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.

Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.

All work and no pay makes a housewife.

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.

The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.

If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.

It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space

If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.

The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.