Quotes from Charles M. Schulz

How is the birdhouse coming along, Charlie Brown?" "Well, I'm a lousy carpenter, I can't nail straight, I can't saw straight and I always split the wood... I'm nervous, I lack confidence, I'm stupid, I have poor taste and absolutely no sense of design... So, all things considered, it's coming along okay!

For a nothing, Charlie Brown, you're really something!

Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!" "What were you expecting?" "Real estate!

The early bird gets the worm but the late bird doesn't even get the late worm.

I am not concerned with simply surviving. I am very concerned about improving. I start each day by examining yesterday's work and looking for areas where I can improve. I am always trying to draw the characters better, and trying to design each panel somewhat in the manner a painter would treat his canvas.

Years are like candy bars... We're paying more, but they're getting shorter.

Look at Charlie Brown's face. Would you please hold still a minute Charlie Brown? I want Linus to study your face. Now this is what you call a failure face, Linus. Notice how it has failure written all over it. Study it carefully Linus. You rarely see such a good example. Notice the deep lines, the dull vacant look in the eyes. Yes, I would say this is one of the finest examples of a failure face that your liable to see for a long while.

Schroeder, do you think I'm beautiful?" "I think you're the most beautiful girl the world has ever known..." "You hate me, don't you?

Charlie Brown says that we're put here on earth to make others happy." "Is that why we're here? I guess I'd better start doing a better job... I'd hate to be shipped back!

I feel sorry for little babies... When a little baby is born into this cold world, he's confused! He's frightened! He needs something to cheer him up... The way I see it, as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!

What happened to fun?" "Our insurance doesn't cover it!

Why me, lord? Don't answer that!

Going to our school is an education in itself which is not to be confused with actually getting an education.

I think they assign things to students which are way over their heads, which destroy your love of reading, rather than leading you to it. I don't understand that. Gosh.

You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?

Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind.

Happiness is a sad song.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and wonder if my life would be different if I had to do it over... Then a voice comes to me out of the dark that says, "boy, there's an original thought!

I enjoy looking at your face... Whenever I look at your face, a question always comes to my mind... Will man ever succeed in reaching the moon?

How can we lose when we're so sincere?

Every night it's the same... I have supper in my red dish and drinking water in my yellow dish... Tonight I think I'll have my supper in the yellow dish and my drinking water in the red dish. Life is too short not to live it up a little!

Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was.

I guess it's wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow. Maybe we should think about today..." "No, that's giving up... I'm still hpoing that yesterday will get better.

Lucy was using my blanket to dry the dishes... We now have very secure dishes!