Quotes from Dov Davidoff

Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.

Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.

Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.

The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.

Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.

Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.

I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.

Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.

Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.

If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.

Coming to terms with my feelings of worthlessness isn't always a bad time, but it's rarely a good one.

Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?

Throwing up is natures way of saying you need to re-examine your idea of a good time.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

I'm pretty sure whoever said, people are wonderful spent very little time with people.