Quotes from Anonymous

Guns don't kill people, dads with daughters do.

You're in good hands with Allstate.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

If someone wants to know your business, tell them to invest in it.

You deserve a break today.

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad.

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "boy was that fun."

No man is a hero to his own valet.

I don't get the fuss about President's Day. I spend my whole life not living up to promises and nobody's giving me a holiday.

The codfish lays ten thousands eggs, The homely hen lays one. The codfish never cackles To tell you what she's done. And so we scorn the codfish, While the humble hen we prize, Which only goes to show you That it pays to advertise.

Within you I lose myself. Without you I find myself wanting to become lost again.

I always take life with a grain of salt. . . plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.

We are the Ovaltineys, Little [or Happy] girls and boys.

If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.

Naughty but nice.

Sewing: A creative mess is better than tidy idleness.

Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet.

There's a thin line between talking to yourself and arguing with an idiot.

You don't have to be Jewish to love Levy's Rye Bread.

Eat, drink, and be scary.

Is it live, or is it Memorex?

American Express? . . . That'll do nicely, sir.

If you're in a card game and you don't know who the sucker is, you're it.

True words are not always pretty; pretty words are not always true.