Quotes from Eoin Colfer

A guy walks into a bar, and says to the barman: 'Gimme one whiskey for myself and ten billion for all my possible alternate selves.' - Professor Charles Smart

Successful negotiations are invariably conducted from a position of power, or at least the perception of power. Strolling into a meeting wearing a comfortable robe and smelling of incense, with a sincere desire to iron out difficulties, is, perversely, a surefire way to get everyone killed.

storm troopers

Humm humm haa. Rahmumm humm haa,' chantte Opal ter afronding. 'Vrede in mij, verdraagzaamheid om mij heen, vergeving op mijn pad. Goed Mervall, laat maar zien waar die smerige mens zit, zodat ik hem zijn eigen organen kan laten opvreten.

It was probably the stupid glasses. How were you supposed to see anything wearing mirrored sunglasses underground? Any they were so nineties, they weren't even retro yet.

And I will not be beaten by that jackass." "Jackass?" said Foaly, wounded. "My favorite uncle is a jackass.

Catherine Broekhart stepped in from the balcony, where she had been waiting, and joined the embrace. The guard at the door was tempted, but decided against it.

Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down.

By the time his vision had settled, the dwarf had disappeared into a maelstrom of churning muck. Butler decided not to attempt pursuit. Dying below ground was not very high on this *things to do* list. But there will be another day, fairy, he thought grimly. And there was to be. But that's another story.

Maybe if we're living in the middle of a development with plenty of witnesses, then Hooke might settle down some and back off. Squib's warped reasoning was based on a child's understanding of evil men. He couldn't know that specimens like Regence Hooke didn't get settled down; they got riled up.

Cthulhu was ready for that one; he had been practicing his answer for that very question with Hastur the Unspeakable only the previous night.

I should take a photo, thought Squib, and pulled his smartphone from the waterproof pocket of his camouflage-type work jeans. And as is so often the case, things would've turned out a whole lot better if the kid could've kept it in his pants.

Leave me in peace and I probably won't kill you. No promises, mind. Probably is absolutely the best I can do.

Well, am I forgiven?' Butler sighed. On the chaise lounge, Juliet snored like a drunken sailor. He smiled suddenly. 'Yes, Artemis. All is forgiven. Just one thing…' 'Yes?' 'Never again. Fairies are too… human.

Magic. Garrick

Cool, like a cat burglar." "You eat cats, Mulch.

Opal Koboi does not make plans; she writes operas.

Willard jerked a little. "That's chilly, Constable. Did you just murder me?

most of the Universe's major wars had been caused by zealots aggressively spreading their own religion, so

since day one. The commander had decided to take offense at the fact that the first female officer in Recon's history had been assigned to his squad. Recon was a notoriously dangerous posting with a high fatality rate, and Root didn't think it was any place for a girlie. Well, he was just going to have to get used to the idea, because Holly Short had no intention of quitting for him or anybody else. Though

You have changed. Once upon a time, Artemis Fowl would have vowed revenge." "Once upon a time.

Don't think about it, Holly told herself. Don't think about the white-hot magma flow that's going to engulf this tiny craft. Don't think about hurtling toward the surface with a MACH 2 force trying to turn you inside out. And certainly don't think about the blood-crazed troll ready to disembowel you with his tusks. Nope. Don't think about any of that stuff.…Too late.

Es konnte nie schaden zu wissen, wo sich das ortsansässige Getier so rumtrieb.

Koboi before, and I will do it again. This determination was fuelled by sadness.