Quotes from Melody Beattie

We need to know how far we'll go, and how far we'll allow others to go with us. Once we understand this, we can go anywhere. —Beyond Codependency

Close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, There's No Place like Home.   —THE WIZARD OF OZ

There is no situation in life that can't be improved by laugher. Sometimes humor can help us get through situations we couldn't possibly endure without it. Sometimes laughter isn't superfluous; it's essential. Sometimes laughter is the next lesson we need to be learning.

The longer this lifetime goes, the more convinced I am that our primary responsibility in life is to find a way to make peace with ourselves, our past, and our present—no matter what we face and no matter how often we need to do that.

Today, everything I need shall be supplied to me.

with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don't love you—they are saying they don't love themselves.

When people with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don't love you—they are saying they don't love themselves. — CODEPENDENT NO MORE

It (detachment) is not detaching from the person whom we care about, but from the agony of involvement.

with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don't love you—they are saying they don't love themselves. — CODEPENDENT NO MORE

Let go of unrest. Let peace fill the void. We do not have to forfeit our power, our God-given personal power—or our peace—to do the work as we are called upon to do today. We will be given all the power we need to do what we are meant to do, when it is time. Let peace come first. Then proceed. The task will get done, naturally and on time. Today, I will get peaceful first, and let my work and life emerge from that base. Being

Today, I will practice tolerance, acceptance, and love of others as they are, and myself as I am. I will strive for that balance between expecting too much and expecting too little from others and myself.

Honoring the Self, an excellent book on self-esteem written by Nathaniel Branden.

You now know everything you need to know." "How's that?" the woman asked. "You have learned that you will never learn everything there is to know," he replied. "And you have learned how to stop the pain.

Something way more profound and lasting than happiness is peace.

Feeling hurt does not have to be so frightening. We do not have to work so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun as feeling happy, they are, still, just feelings.

We do not have to act in haste; we do not have to punish others to get control over our feelings. We can begin sharing our hurt feelings with others. That brings relief and often healing to them and to us.

Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. Real power comes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when we feel emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.

with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don't love you—they are saying they don't love themselves. — CODEPENDENT

Some of us may have made a decision that no one was ever going to hurt us again. We may automatically go on "feelings freeze mode" when faced with emotional pain. Or, we may terminate a relationship the first time we feel hurt.

Today, I will identify what I want and need; then, I'll be willing to let go of it. I will devote my energy to living my life today, so I may master my lessons as quickly as possible. I will trust that what I want and need is coming to me. I will let go of my need to control the details.

Many of us have had our illusions about security and permanency shattered. The longer we're alive, the more it gets beat into us: nothing is forever.

Today, I will take actions that appear appropriate. I will let go of the rest. I will strive for the balance between self-responsibility, responsibility to others, and letting go.

It is understandable that we don't want to feel any more pain. Many of us have had more than our share. In fact, at some time in our life, we may have been overwhelmed, crushed, or stopped in our tracks by the amount of pain we felt. We may not have had the resources to cope with our pain or take care of ourselves.

If we are unhappy without a relationship, we'll probably be unhappy with one as well. A relationship doesn't begin our life; a relationship doesn't become our life. A relationship is a continuation of life.