Quotes from Melody Beattie

We don't have to analyze or justify our feelings. We need to feel them, and try not to let them control our behavior.

Codependents make great employees. They don't complain; they do more than their share; they do whatever is asked of them; they please people; and they try to do their work perfectly—at least for a while, until they become angry and resentful. Maria

Today, I will not strike out at those who cause me pain. I will feel my emotions and take responsibility for them. I will accept hurt feelings as part of being in relationships. I am willing to surrender to the pain as well as the joy in life.

When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled. We forfeit our power to think, feel, and act in accordance with our best interests. We frequently lose control of ourselves. Often

There are some things we can't do, no matter how long or hard we try. These things include changing other people, solving their problems, and controlling their behavior. Sometimes, we feel powerless over ourselves—what we feel or believe, or the effects of a particular situation or person on us.

Shane," she said, "there comes a time to let go." For each of us, there comes a time to let go. You will know when that time has come. When you have done all that you can do, it is time to detach. Deal with your feelings. Face your fears about losing

We don't have to take other people's behaviors as reflections of our self-worth.

This is a book about finding your way home—from wherever you are. It's for homesick people, eager and restless to find that place called home, even—especially—if they're not certain where home is anymore.

Clear thinking means we don't allow ourselves to become immersed in negativity or unrealistic expectations. We stay connected to other recovering people. We go to our meetings, where peace of mind and realistic support are available. We work the Steps, pray, and meditate.

Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Nobody has ever loved us in a way that met our needs.

the trials and tensions of the world take us back behind our ego where the Divine Self is waiting, that part I know is truth. We aren't the God of the Western world, but each of us is a piece of the Divine. Pain and loss initiate us to our oneness with each other, God, and life. Nothing can separate us from God, no matter how alone we feel.

Sometimes things happen, and for a variety of reasons I may not end up where I wanted to go. If I change my mind or problems beyond my control interfere, I find myself doing something other than what I had planned. Timing and exact circumstances may vary. That's okay. I usually end up someplace that's better for me. That's where acceptance, trust, faith, and letting go come in. But at least I'm not driving aimlessly through life.

Reacting usually does not work. We react too quickly, with too much intensity and urgency. Rarely can we do our best at anything in this state of mind.

Gratitude Focus: There are a lot of events, people, and circumstances in the world that help us feel chaotic. We can be grateful for all the people, places, and things that help promote peace.

Whenever you commit, your energy and resources will follow.

worrying about people and problems doesn't help. It doesn't solve problems, it doesn't help other people, and it doesn't help us. It is wasted energy.

To acknowledge how we really feel would demand a decision—action or change—on our part.2 It would bring us face to face with reality.

Little storms of despair, hopelessness, or self-hatred may squall up out of nowhere in our lives. We can hunker down and protect ourselves even when the storm is inside us.

Furthermore, we are not responsible for anyone else's feelings, although we are responsible for choosing to be considerate of people's feelings.

Sometimes when we meet other people—and even after we've gotten to know them—all we see is the tip of the iceberg when we look at their lives. We don't understand the things that are driving them, the unresolved issues from their pasts, and the depth of pain they're in now.

Taking Care of Ourselves: October 6

Today, I will separate myself from family members. I am a separate human being, even though I belong to a unit called a family. I have a right to my own issues and growth; my family members have a right to their issues and a right to choose where and when they will deal with these issues. I can learn to detach in love from my family members and their issues. I am willing to work through all necessary feelings in order to accomplish this.