Quotes from Daniel J. Siegel

But the more you consider and practice this approach, the more natural and automatic it will become to offer a quick assessment and respond with an intentional response. It can even become your default, your go-to. With practice, these questions can help you remain intentional and receptive in the face of previously reaction-inducing interactions.

Estar presente significa poner todo tu ser –tu atención y tu conciencia– cuando estés con tu hijo.

So don't think of discipline as a one-size-fits-all solution. Instead, remember how important it is to discipline this one child in this one moment.

Aquí me tienes. Esto es así. Sé que es difícil, pero puedes hacerlo. Estoy contigo.»

One strategy that can be effective is to help the child create a "calm zone" with toys or books or a favorite stuffed animal, which she visits when she needs the time and place to calm down.

Parents often respond to their child's behavior by focusing on the surface level of the experience and not on the deeper level of the mind.

Así ampliamos su zona verde: enseñándoles con cariño que pueden frustrarse y fracasar y que superar la frustración y el fracaso los hará más fuertes y más sabios.

It's not how our parents raised us, or how many parenting books we've read. It's actually how well we've made sense of our experiences with our own parents and how sensitive we are to our children that most powerfully influence our relationship with our kids,

We also believe that children should have the right to be free from any form of violence, especially at the hands of the people they trust most to protect them.

inhibiting impulses, managing big angry feelings, and considering the impact of their behavior on others. Learning

When we help our children name their pain and their fears, we help them tame them.

En realidad, sin embargo, la conducta de búsqueda de atención no solo es totalmente apropiada desde el punto de vista del desarrollo, sino que en realidad es relacional. La atención es una necesidad de todos los niños en todas partes.

When kids are given whatever they want all the time, they lose opportunities to build resilience and learn important life lessons:

Cuando los niños dicen «no puedo» o «no quiero», pídeles que agreguen la palabra «todavía». Esto promueve una actitud abierta a la posibilidad muy poderosa, porque opera desde el cerebro afirmativo con la idea de que podrán tener éxito, de que lo lograrán siempre y cuando estén dispuestos a prepararse, a perseverar y a trabajar para conseguirlo.

delaying gratification, about having to work for something, about dealing with disappointment.

In each situation, make decisions about what's best for this unique child in this particular moment, and what will lead to growth and an expansion of what they believe they can do. That's resilience.

Kids who approach the world from a No Brain state are at the mercy of their circumstances and their feelings. They get stuck in their emotions, unable to shift them, and they complain about their realities rather than finding healthy ways to respond to them. They worry, often obsessively, about facing something new or making a mistake, rather than making decisions in a Yes Brain spirit of openness and curiosity. Stubbornness often rules the day in a No Brain state.

The parental response, then, undermines both of the primary goals of discipline—changing behavior and building the brain—because it sidesteps an opportunity for the child to think about her own behavior and even feel some healthy guilt or remorse.

Spoiled children often grow up to be unhappy because people in the real world don't respond to their every whim.

the adolescent period of life is in reality the one with the most power for courage and creativity. Life is on fire when we hit our teens. And these changes are not something to avoid or just get through, but to encourage. Brainstorm was born from the need to focus on the positive essence of this period of life for adolescents and for adults.

The truth is that a huge percentage of misbehavior is more about can't than won't.

Mindsight is the basis of social and emotional intelligence, and we can model this for our children as we help guide the development of their changing brains.

Mindfulness exercises produce literal changes in the brain's connections, significantly affecting how well a person interacts with other people and adapts to difficult situations.

when a child is upset, logic often won't work until we have responded to the right brain's emotional needs. We call this emotional connection "attunement," which is how we connect deeply with another person and allow them to "feel felt." When parent and child are tuned in to each other, they experience a sense of joining together.