Quotes from Daniel J. Siegel

The basic approach, though, usually entails listening and providing lots of verbal and nonverbal empathy. This is how we attune to our children, tuning in to the inner life of their mind—to their feelings and thoughts, to their perceptions and memories, to what has inner subjective meaning in their lives.

Sin embargo, queremos enseñarles que la empatía consiste poco en dar consejos ni en encontrar el lado afirmativo de las cosas. Consiste más en escuchar, hacer compañía y compartir los sentimientos. Queremos enseñarles frases como: «Eso duele mucho» o «No sé qué decir, pero siento que haya pasado eso».

fin y al cabo, el cerebro izquierdo lógico del niño estaba en ese momento totalmente inactivo. Por consiguiente, si Tina hubiese respondido con el izquierdo, su hijo habría sentido que ella no lo entendía o que no le importaba lo que sentía. Se hallaba inmerso en un aluvión emocional, no racional, del cerebro derecho, y una

the moments you are just trying to survive are actually opportunities to help your child thrive.

more often than not, they end up simply reacting to a situation, rather than working from a clear set of principles and strategies. They shift into autopilot and give up control of their more intentional parenting decisions.

We discussed the importance of setting limits, creating structure, and helping children build internal controls and impulse inhibition by internalizing "no." This is how we use our relationship with

Una paternidad basada en el cerebro pleno nos permite ir más allá de la simple supervivencia.

at other times we need to adjust our expectations and realize that our children are capable of more than we're asking of them, so we can challenge them to take more responsibility for their choices.

Tina se contuvo. En lugar de eso, empleó la técnica de conectar y redirigir. Lo estrechó, le frotó la espalda y, con tono maternal, dijo: «A veces las cosas se ponen difíciles, ¿verdad que sí? Yo nunca te olvidaría. Siempre te tengo presente, y quiero que sepas en todo momento lo especial que eres para mí».

The act of considering the mind of another requires us to use our right hemisphere and our upstairs brain, both of which are part of the social circuitry that allows us to enjoy mature and fulfilling relationships.

This pause between reactive and responsive is the beginning of choice, intention, and skillfulness as a parent.

Recall that discipline means to teach, not to punish.

What lesson do I want to teach in this moment? The lesson is not that misbehavior merits a consequence, but that there are better ways of getting your attention and managing his anger than resorting to violence.

Conforme los niños se desarrollan, sus cerebros «reflejan» el cerebro de sus padres. Dicho de otro modo, el propio crecimiento y desarrollo de sus padres, o su ausencia, inciden en el cerebro del niño.

Seasoned parents and child therapists will also tell you that some of the best conversations with children take place while something else is happening. Children are much more apt to share and talk while building something, playing cards, or riding in the car than when you sit down and look them right in the face and ask them to open up.

You can do your kids a lot of good simply by asking, "What are some ideas you have to make it better and solve this problem?" Given the chance once they're calm, kids will usually do the right thing, and learn in the process.

equanimity is the ability to achieve emotional equilibrium, to have a full range of emotions and attain a sense of balance within that rich inner and interpersonal life that both creates and embraces who we are and who we can become.

añadiremos que casi todas las preguntas y dilemas con respecto a la labor de los padres se circunscriben a la idea de relación, así que en eso vamos a centrarnos aquí.

connection offers the short-term benefit of moving kids from reactivity to receptivity, and the long-term benefit of building the brain.

Curiosity is the cornerstone of effective discipline. Before

Hay unos ojitos que están observándote para ver cómo te tranquilizas tú. Tus acciones establecerán el ejemplo de cómo se toma una buena decisión en un momento de emociones intensas en el que tú mismo corres el peligro de perder los papeles.

Many fields have explored the nature of mental life—from psychology to philosophy, literature

No existe una forma de criar a los hijos libre de defectos.

even small children—as young as four or five—really can understand some important basics about the way the brain works, and in turn understand themselves and their behavior and feelings in new and more insightful ways.