Quotes from Lemony Snicket

Raisins are healthy, and they are inexpensive, and some people may even find them delicious. But they are rarely considered helpful.

Myths are often entertaining, but they're never very helpful.

The night has a thousand eyes,'" Kit said hoarsely, and lifted her head to face the villain. The Baudelaires could tell by her voice that she was reciting the words of someone else. "'And the day but one; yet the light of the bright world dies with the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart but one: yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done.

I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong. You can look at a painting for the first time, for example, and not like it at all, but after looking at it a little longer you may find it very pleasing. The first time you try Gorgonzola cheese you may find it too strong, but when you are older you may want to eat nothing but Gorgonzola cheese.

Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would see another world when I died, which I was in no hurry to do.

Zeno was an ancient Greek philosopher who ended up being tortured by people who didn't like his ideas. Nowadays philosophers are hardly ever tortured, because most people ignore them completely

There's nothing wrong with athletics, but they shouldn't get in the way of your schoolwork.

But you can't invent things like time,' Violet said. 'You can invent things like automatic popcorn poppers. You can invent things like steam-powered window waster. But you can't invent more time.

One could say, in fact, that no story really has a beginning, and that no story really has an end, as all of the world's stories are as jumbled as the items in the arboretum, with their details and secrets all heaped together so that the whole story, from beginning to end, depends on how you look at it.

I will love you as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey.

Sometimes, when you are reading a book you are enjoying very much, you begin thinking so hard about the characters and the story that you might forget all about the author, even if he is in grave danger and would very much appreciate your help. The same thing can happen if you are looking at a photograph. You might think so hard about whatever is in the photograph that you forget all about the person behind the camera.

lately is has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca...

If I were making up a story, I would have it gray and miserable outside, but it was sunny and miserable instead

Among Violet's many useful skills was a vast knowledge of different types of knots. The particular knot she was using was called the Devil's Tongue. A group of female Finnish pirates invented it back in the fifteenth century, and named it the Devil's Tongue because it twisted this way and that, in the most complicated and eerie way.

Memento mori- remember you will die.

All good writing is like this. It is why a favorite book feels like an old friend and a new acquaintance at the same time, and the reason a favorite author can be a familiar figure and a mysterious stranger all at once.

Like many people who dress in black, the lump of coal was interested in becoming an artist.

First impressions are often entirely wrong.

For although Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were about to experience events that would be both exciting and memorable, they would not be exciting and memorable like having your fortune told or going to a rodeo. Their adventure would be exciting and memorable like being chased by a werewolf through a field of thorny bushes at midnight with nobody around to help you.

Klaus grinned. 'I'm sorry,' he said, 'but it was a very interesting book, and I'm so pleased that it's coming in handy.

I myself fell in love with a wonderful women who was so charming and intelligent that I trusted that she would be my bride, but there was no way of knowing for sure, and all too soon circumstances changed and she ended up marrying someone else, all because of something she read in The Daily Punctilio.

But like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Terrible accidents, I have found, are often odd.

Hal is on his way." The nurse announced reentering the room.