Quotes from Lemony Snicket

Inside these letters, the eye will see Nearby are your friends, and VFD.

It is the things that have a history, L. Compared to them we are ghosts.

If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you.

In an emergency, one often learns that one's companions can be of even less help in extraordinary circumstances than they are during an average evening.

The moths were fluttering all over the sign at the desk that read DASHIELL QWERTY, SUB-LIBRARIAN. He was younger than I think of librarians as being, younger than the father of anyone I knew, and he had the hairstyle one gets if one is attacked by a scissors-carrying maniac and lives to tell the tale.

No reality has the power to dispel a dream" means that no matter what happens in the world, you can keep thinking about something, particularly if it's something you like.

It depends on how you look at it.

There's no way to tell what will make someone break down in tears. There are some who will cry at the merest melancholy word, and there are some who need the longest, cruelest speech to even dampen one eyelash. There are those who will cry at any sad song but no sad book, and there are those who are immune to the most saddening newspaper articles but will weep for days over a terrible meal. People cry at silence or at violence, in a graveyard or a schoolyard.

I have seen many amazing things in my long and troubled life history. I have seen a series of corridors built entirely out of human skulls. I have seen a volcano erupt and send a wall of lava crawling towards a small village. I have seen a women I loved picked up by an enormous eagle and flown to its high mountain next. But I still cannot imagine what it was like to watch Aunt Josephine's house topple into Lake Lachrymose.

The Baudelaire orphans looked worriedly out the window. They weren't very happy about just being dropped off in a strange place, as if they were a pizza being delivered instead of three children all alone in the world.

Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.

There is nothing wrong with crying at the end of a long day.

I'm S. Theodora Markson," she said. "I'm Lemony Snicket," I said, and handed her an envelope I had in my Pocket. Inside was something we called a letter of introduction, just a few paragraphs describing me as somebody who was an excellent reader, a good cook, a mediocre musician and an awful quarreler.

If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down

If someone had told me, that day at the beach, that before long I'd find myself using my four teeth to scrape the bark off trees, I would have said they were psychoneurotically disturbed.

Oh!' Said Sunny, and everyone knew what she meant. She meant, 'What a terrible place! I don't want to live there at all!

It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is the one who is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right. Right?

The part libraries play in education is the part bubbles play in champagne. They may seem at first to be merely a shimmery addition, but they are the central feature of the entire enterprise and the reason, joyous and astonishing, to keep imbibing.

Life has so many surprises that the only real surprise in life is when nothing surprising happens.

Troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them.

Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch…is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake.

Yes,' she said, in a faraway voice, 'he was my husband, but he was much more than that. He was my best friend, my partner in grammar, and the only person I knew who could whistle with crackers in his mouth.

The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

So what do we do?... We keep reading, and it just might be our turn to triumph.