Quotes from Lemony Snicket

There are people in the world who care about automobiles, and there are people who couldn't care less, and then there are the people who are impressed by the Dilemma, and those people are everyone.

As if he were reading her thoughts, Klaus put a hand on Violet's shoulder, and she smiled at him. Klaush had known for all his twelve years that his sister found a hand on her shoulder comforting- as long as the hand was attached to an arm, of course.

The word "dreadful," even when used three times in a row, did not seem like a dreadful enough word to describe everything that had happened.

Is the mask working?" she asked me. "How can I tell?" "If you can breath, then it's working.

Reading poetry, even if you are only reading it to find a secret message hidden within its words, can often give one a feeling of power the way you can feel powerful if you are the only one who brought an umbrella on a rainy day, of the only one who knows how to untie knots when you're taken hostage.

If this were a book written to entertain small children, you would know what would happen next. With the villain's identity and evil plans exposed, the police would arrive on the scene and place him in a jail for the rest of his life, and the plucky youngsters would go out for pizza and live happily ever after. But this book is about the Baudelaire orphans, and you and I know that these three unfortunate children living happily ever after is about as likely as Uncle Monty returning to life.

But you can't read every story, and answer every question even if you'd like to

Don't talk, Snicket," Theodora said. "Fools talk while wise people listen, so listen up and I'll tell you how we will solve this case sensibly and properly.

I told you," Count Olaf said weakly. "I told you I'd do that one last time.

It was impossible to tame, like leeches.

Count Olaf had taken out a bottle of wine to pour himself some breakfast, but when he saw the book he stopped, and sat down.

It pain me to tell you that once again Count Olaf would appear with yet another disgusting scheme, and that Mr. Poe would once again fail to do anything even remotely helpful.

When you have only know someone for a few hours it is difficult to now what they would like to hear.

Fire is like greed, my comrade. It spreads across the world, thinking only of itself, seizing everything it sees, and ruining everyone's fun.

I like a story that could never happen to me. If I want real life I'll read a newspaper.

You might think that climbing a mountain is half the battle, only to find out that the mountain goats who live at the top are vicious, and heavily armed.

For instance, if you are a bank robber - although I hope you aren't - you might go to the bank a few days before you planned to rob it. Perhaps wearing a disguise, you would look around the bank and observe security guards, cameras, and other obstacles, so you could plan how to avoid capture or death during your burglary.

Sunny did not eat the wood, of course, but she chewed on it and pretended it was a carrot, or an apple, or a beef and cheese enchilada, all of which she loved.

One of the greatest myths in the world–and the phrase "greatest myths" is just a fancy way of saying "big fat lies"–is that troublesome things get less and less troublesome if you do them more and more. The truth is that troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them, and that you should avoid doing them unless they are absolutely urgent.

Allowed?' Uncle Monty repeated. 'Of course not! You are implored to come inside here, my boy.

No reality has the power to dispel a dream

The Baudelaire orphans hung on to one another, and wept and wept while the adults argued endlessly behind them. Finally-as, I'm sorry to say, Count Olaf forced the Quagmires into puppy costumes so he could sneak them onto the airplane without anyone noticing-the Baudelaires cried themselves out and just sat on the lawn together in weary silence.

These brats know a lot of words,' Shirley said, in her ridiculously fake high voice. 'They're book addicts. But we can still create an accident and win the fortune!

If you don't like peas,it is probably because you have not had them fresh.It is the difference between reading a great book and reading the summary on the back