Quotes from Lemony Snicket

It is often said that if you have a room with a view, you will feel peaceful and relaxed, but if the room is a caravan hurtling down a steep and twisted road, and the view is an eerie mountain range racing backward away from you, while chilly mountain winds sting your face and toss dust into your eyes, then you will not feel one bit of peace and relaxation.

The only thing worse than a perilous adventure is a boring one.

What kind of funny?" I asked her. "Funny like a clown onstage? Or funny like a clown hanging around the entrance to a bank?" -"The bank one.

Depressed" is a word that often describes somebody who is feeling sad and gloomy, but in this case it describes a secret button, hidden in a crow statue, that is feeling just fine, thank you.

As I'm sure you know, the expression 'It's all uphill from here' has nothing to do with walking up stairs - it merely means that things will get better in the future.

Dramatic irony is a cruel occurrence, one that is almost always upsetting and I'm sorry to have it appear in this story, but Violet, Klaus, and Sunny have such unfortunate lives that it was only a matter of time before dramatic irony would rear its ugly head.

For the rest of the morning they worked quietly ad steadily, realizing that their contentment here at Uncle Monty's house did not erase their parents' death, not at all, but at least it made them feel better after feeling so sad, for so long.

As I'm sure you know, it is rarely a good idea to get into an automobile with somebody you haven't met before, particularly if that person believes in such nonsense as 'No news is good news.' But it is never a good idea to stand around a flat and empty landscape while the police are closing in to arrest you for a crime you have not committed.

In my opinion, children should be seen and not heard. I'm an adult, so it follows that I should be heard and not seen. That's why I work exclusively over the intercom.

There are some things you cannot explain to anyone, even when they have been explained to you, over and over, almost since the day you were born.

The story of the book filled the car with exciting adventures of the sort that are fun to read about, so we didn't have to think about the exciting adventures of the sort that are no fun to live through.

Behind these two booths was an enormous roller coaster, a phrase which here mean 'a series of small carts where people can sit and race up and down steep and frightening hills of tracks, for no discernible reason

I will thank you not to be impertinent," said Aunt Josephine, using a word which here means "pointing out that I'm wrong, which annoys me".

One of my prized possessions is a small wooden box with a special lock on it that is more than five hundred years old and works according to a secret code that my grandfather taught me. My grandfather learned it from his grandfather, and his grandfather learned it from his grandfather, and I would teach it to my grandchild if I thought that I would ever have a family of my own instead of living out the remainder of my days all alone in this world.

The dumplings had the flavor of paradise, and the broth spread through my veins like a secret that's fun to keep.

being skeptical is a good thing for a journalist, because it means you don't completely trust anyone.

I pushed the door open, slow as long division.

No matter how many slow and complicated mysteries I encounters in my life, I still hope that one day a slow and complicated mystery will be solved quickly and simply. An associate of mine calls this feeling "the triumph of hope over experience", which simply means that it's never going to happen, and that is what happened then.

The fire was set in the Library of Records by the Baudelaire murderers, and has spread to the Sore Throat Ward, the Stubbed Toe Ward, and the Accidentally Swallowed Something You Shouldn't Have Ward.

Mr. Poe, who led the way, didn't seem to notice the hedges at all, possibly because he was busy coaching the children on how to behave. 'Now, Klaus, don't ask too many questions right away. Violet, what happened to the ribbon in your hair? I thought you looked very distinguished in it. And somebody please make sure Sunny doesn't bite Dr. Montgomery. That wouldn't be a good first impression.

on the Pip and Squeak asking for a taxi tip) "How about a tip?" "Here's a tip," I said. "Next time you're at the library, check out a book about a champion of the world." "By that author with all the chocolate?" "Yes, but this one's even better It has some very good chapters in it." "That's the kind of tip we can use," Squeak said. "Pip reads to me between fares.

O!" Sunny shrieked. "O!" Klaus agreed. "O!" Sunny insisted. "Oh!" Klaus cried. "I see what you mean!...

It was confusing pretending to be completely different people, particularly because it had been so long since the Baudelaires were able to be the people they really were.

We must try, all of us, a lot of the time, our best, and we must keep trying. We do not understand anything but we should try our best to understand each other.