Quotes from John Gray

Global laissez-faire is not a conspiracy of corporate America. It is a tragedy - one of several that have occurred in the twentieth century - in which an hubristic ideology runs aground on enduring human needs that it has failed to comprehend.

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The secret of forming a successful relationship is for both partners to win.

When men and women are on the verge of arguing, they are generally misunderstanding each other.

Women today truly need their men and whatever help they can provide.

Belief in the liberating power of knowledge has become the ruling illusion of modern humankind. Most want to believe that some kind of explanation or understanding will deliver them from their conflicts. Yet being divided from yourself goes with being self-aware. This is the truth in the Genesis myth: the Fall is not an event at the beginning of history but the intrinsic condition of self-conscious beings.

Gradually she will realize that a man wants to make improvements when he feels he is being approached as the solution to a problem rather than as the problem itself.

Men and women arguing in this way hurt not only their feelings but also their relationship. Just as communication is the most important element in a relationship, arguments can be the most destructive element, because the closer we are to someone, the easier it is to bruise or be bruised.

Most arguments escalate when a man begins to invalidate a woman's feelings and she responds to him disapprovingly.

Suddenly she began to feel the way she felt as a child when her father was too busy for her. Her past unresolved feelings of anger and powerlessness were projected onto Harris's watching TV. If these feelings had not come up, Cathy would have been able gracefully to accept Harris's wish to watch TV.

A glance at any human should be enough to dispel any notion that it is the work of an intelligent being.

With love and good communication most problems, even the "big problems," can be solved and resolved

She wants empathy, but he thinks she wants solutions.

This distinction also helps us to understand why men commonly interrupt a woman when she is talking about a problem. This interruption generally occurs in an intimate relationship when a woman is not looking to solve a problem but instead is talking in order to feel better or closer to her partner.

When confronted with a problem, a man wants to solve it while a woman often wants to talk about it first. For women, talking and then feeling heard and understood stimulates oxytocin, which allows her estrogen levels to rise and her stress to decrease. Through expressing her feelings, she is able to return to her female side, which balances her hormones and lowers her stress levels. In this way she is better able to cope with life's inevitable external stresses.

Men do become very emotional when they have a big upset.

È necessario che gli uomini ricordino che quando le donne sono turbate e parlano dei loro problemi non è il momento di offrire soluzioni; hanno

After reading a few pages you will begin to laugh at your own mistakes. With this lighthearted reaction it becomes easier to relax and not take yourself or your partner's mistakes so seriously.

Over the past two hundred years philosophy has shaken off Christian faith. It has not given up Christianity's cardinal error -the belief that humans are radically different from all other animals.

The success of a relationship is solely dependent on two factors: a man's ability to listen lovingly and respectfully to a woman's feelings, and a woman's ability to share her feelings in a loving and respectful way.

A woman mistakenly thinks that to be worthy of receiving what she really wants, she must keep giving back what she is receiving.

For a woman, being happy when the person you love is upset just doesn't seem right.

Taking responsibility for her problem was essential to releasing her resentment.

Darwin's theory shows the truth of naturalism: we are animals like any other; our fate and that of the rest of life on Earth are the same. Yet, in an irony all the more exquisite because no one has noticed it, Darwinism is now the central prop of the humanist faith that we can transcend our animal natures and rule the Eart.