Quotes from John Gray

Similarly, when a man is in love he is motivated to be the best he can be in order to serve others. When his heart is open, he feels so confident in himself that he is capable of making major changes. Given the opportunity to prove his potential, he expresses his best self.

1. A man tries to change a woman's feelings when she is upset by becoming Mr. Fix-It and offering solutions to her problems that invalidate her feelings. 2. A woman tries to change a man's behavior when he makes mistakes by becoming the home-improvement committee and offering unsolicited advice or criticism. IN

Through sharing her feelings she begins to remember that she is worthy of love and that her needs will be fulfilled. Doubt and mistrust melt away. Her tendency to be compulsive relaxes as she remembers that she is worthy of love—she doesn't have to earn it;

Men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate, and react the way men do; women mistakenly expect men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women do. We have forgotten that men and women are supposed to be different. As a result our relationships are filled with unnecessary friction and conflict.

Creating a Soul Mate relationship is not something that happens automatically; it is earned through our inner commitment to be true to ourselves and find a higher love, a willful intention to let go of past mistakes with forgiveness, the wisdom to correct what doesn't work in our own actions, the understanding and compassion to unconditionally accept our partner's limitations, and finally the courage to open our hearts again and again.

To keep the score even in a relationship, a man really doesn't require anything but love. Women

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed…. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.

To find our loving feelings, many times we need first to feel all our negative feelings.

Histories of morality are rarely written in order to inform the reader.

They do not wear uniforms like the Martians (to reveal their competence). On the contrary, they enjoy wearing a different outfit every day, according to how they are feeling. Personal expression, especially of their feelings, is very important. They may even change outfits several times a day as their mood changes.

Contemporary culture rejects the idea of nature for the same reason it rejects the idea of God. Both set limits on the human will.

The common sense of one generation was always a new discovery to previous generations.

The problem is that when a man resists her attempts to improve him, she misinterprets his response. She mistakenly thinks he is not willing to change, probably because he does not love her enough. The truth is, however, that he is resistant to changing because he believes he is not being loved enough. When a man feels loved, trusted, accepted, appreciated, and so forth, automatically he begins to change, grow, and improve.

Instead of feeling hopeless, he realized he did know how to support her. He had just gotten sidetracked by thinking his money should make her happy when really his caring and understanding of her had been the source of her contentment.

For a brief moment we believe, "Now I have the power to be me and do what I want.

It is a strange sort of naturalism that singles out religion to be purged from human life. Few things are more natural for humans than religion. To be sure, religion has brought much suffering. So has love and the pursuit of knowledge. Like them, religion is part of being human.

Anything done to excess can become a means to numb the pain of our unresolved past.

Humanity' does not exist. There are only humans, driven by conflicting needs and illusions, and subject to every kind of infirmity of will and judgement

Global studies reveal that as women become more educated and financially independent, their risk of staying single or getting a divorce increases, their happiness decreases, and their stress levels rise.

love. If a stranger rejects you, it has little effect, but when someone you care about rejects you, it can be so painful that, to protect ourselves, we withdraw and close our hearts as we automatically put up walls and defenses.

The more a woman's need to be heard and understood is fulfilled, the easier it is for her to give her man the acceptance he needs.

The greatest emotional pain we can experience in life occurs when we stop sharing our love with the people we love the most.

When people say their goal in life is to be happy they are telling you they are miserable. Thinking of happiness as a project, they look for fulfillment at some future time. The present slips by, and anxiety creeps in. (…) so they turn to philosophy, and nowadays therapy, which offer relief from their unease.

Relationships do not have to be such a struggle. Only when we do not understand one another is there tension, resentment, or conflict.