Quotes from Jane Nelsen

Yes, children need to learn patience, but parents need to be patient long enough to let them learn.

As educational psychologist Jane M. Healy puts it, "Brains shape behavior, and behavior shapes brains.

Especially in the first years of life, connection with caring and responsive parents and other caregivers is critical for your child. You influence the very structure and wiring of your baby's brain; you influence the person she becomes and the future she will have.

Ten Basics for Implementing Positive Discipline 1. Create a connection before a correction. 2. Get children involved: a. Offer acceptable choices. b. Provide opportunities to help. 3. Create routines. 4. Teach respect by being respectful. 5. Use your sense of humor. 6. Get into your child's world. 7. Follow through with kind and firm action: if you say it, mean it, and if you mean it, follow through.

Connection can take many forms. It can be as simple as saying "I love you and the answer is no

a power struggle with your child. When that happens, be willing to back away and start over when you have changed your attitude—which will enable your child to change his.

Instead of telling him what to do, find ways to involve him in decisions

Where do we put your diaper?" "Which book do you want to read?" "What do you think will happen if you push your tricycle over the curb?" or "How should we get ready for childcare?

Offer Acceptable Choices Having choices gives children a sense of power: they have the power to choose one possibility or another.

What is the first thing we should put away when we get home—the ice cream or the orange juice? You decide.

When your child wants to do something else, you can say, "That isn't one of the choices. You can decide between ________ (repeat the choices available).

Toddlers often resist a command to "go to the car" but respond cheerfully to a request like "I need your help. Will you carry the keys to the car for me?

As crianças são estancadas na frente dos seus aparelhos digitais e televisões enquanto os pais fazem o jantar, as tarefas domésticas ou trabalham em casa. As crianças podem aprender a música de um personagem de desenho ou reconhecer letras e números, mas, ao contrário do que muitos pais acreditam, elas não aprendem linguagem assistindo TV.

what children really need to grow and develop is unhurried time with caring adults

It is important to note that this does not mean allowing children to rule the home.

mirror neurons help him figure out how to imitate you. In the same way, when you are angry, excited, or anxious, his mirror neurons will "catch" your emotion and create that same feeling within him.

Los niños se comportan bien cuando se sienten bien. ¿De dónde sacamos la ridícula idea de que para que los niños se porten bien, primero los papás deben hacerles sentir vergüenza, humillación e incluso sufrimiento? Los niños se sienten más motivados a cooperar, a aprender nuevas habilidades y a ofrecer afecto cuando se sienten alentados, conectados y amados.

when you ask children why homework is important, they will tell you ("so I can learn," "so I will get a better grade"). They can then decide how much time they need and when is the best time for them. (Parents usually want their children to do their homework as soon as they get home from school. Children would usually like some downtime first. When children get some choice, they feel empowered.)

there is nothing more important you can give your little one than a strong relationship with you

In fact, a true sense of self-worth does not come from being loved, praised, or showered with goodies. It comes from having skills that provide a sense of capability and resilience to handle the ups and downs and disappointments of life. When your child feels competent and capable, he will also be better able to contribute to the lives of others in his family and community. When

in fact, what children really need to grow and develop is unhurried time with caring adults, people who will focus on the child and follow his cues without distraction or expectations

There is simply no substitute for time and attention, and children who have the opportunity to bond well with parents find it easier to get along with others and to be comfortable in their world as they grow up.

In the good old days few people questioned the idea that Dad's decisions were final. Because of the human rights movement, this is no longer true. Rudolf Dreikurs pointed out, "When Dad lost control of Mom, they both lost control of the children." All this means is that Mom quit giving the children a model of submissiveness.

Pampering, sometimes called "spoiling," makes your child dependent on you. As you will learn, it is important to meet all of your child's needs for love and basic care, but it can be harmful to give in to all her wants. As you gain information and knowledge, remember to access your heart and inner wisdom to find the balance of interaction that is respectful and healthy for you and your child.