Quotes from Jane Nelsen

Studies have shown that babies who are touched, massaged, and held often are less irritable and gain weight more quickly. Holding, rocking, and cuddling a child communicates love and acceptance perhaps better than anything else. Babies, toddlers, even parents need hugs, and a loving hug may be all the "help" your little one needs for many of life's small crises.

Asking an older child, "Would you like a hug?" or "May I give you a hug?" will help give them a sense of control over their bodies.

Remember that while repetition may be boring to you, it isn't to your child. Babies and toddlers learn through repetition, which is why routines are such an effective and important teaching tool for this age group.

Knowing that you are shaping a healthy brain may give you the patience it takes to tell favorite stories over and over again. Incidentally, television does not have the same effect on babies and toddlers as real speech.

There is a popular cartoon that shows a mother talking to her child. "Honey," she says, "when you're older, I want you to be confident, assertive, and independent. But right now I want you to be compliant, quiet, and obedient." Most parents know the feeling: The very same qualities that we want for our children as adults can make life challenging when they're young.

El humor es una de las mejores y más disfrutables herramientas de crianza.

Positive Discipline is built on teaching, understanding, encouraging, and communicating—not on punishing. Punishment is intended to make children "pay" for what they have done. Discipline is designed to help children learn from what they have done.

Discipline with young children is mostly about deciding what you will do (and kindly and firmly following through) than with what you expect your child to do.

The principles of Positive Discipline will help you build a relationship of love and respect with your child, and will help you live and solve problems together for many years to come.

Often adults fail to realize that they simply can't reason with a toddler and thus they spend more time talking than acting. No matter how well you use them, words are often little more than sounds to young children. Actions, like removing a child from a forbidden temptation by picking him up and carrying him to another location, provide an unmistakable message.

Punishment may seem to "work" in the short term. But over time, it creates rebellion, resistance, and children who don't believe in their own worth and capability

Your child is constantly making decisions about himself and the world, and how to find belonging and significance in that world.

The best way to be sure a tiny person realizes that you are talking to her is to make eye contact. Get down on her level, look into those curious eyes, and speak directly to her.

Provide Opportunities to Help Toddlers often resist a command to "go to the car" but respond cheerfully to a request like "I need your help. Will you carry the keys to the car for me?" Activities that might easily have become power struggles and battles can become opportunities for laughter and closeness if you use your instincts and creativity.

children are shaped by both the raw material they inherit and the forces around them, they also bring to the world something unique to them: their own spirit and identity.

On the challenging side, you may be modeling stress, a sense that external events are more important than family, or an overemphasis on "doing" and lack of time to just "be.

Children do cooperate (most of the time, at least) when they're involved in finding solutions to problems; they will understand "no" when they are developmentally ready; and they listen when parents listen to them and talk in ways that invite listening. Problems are solved more easily when parents use kind and firm guidance until children are old enough to be involved in the process of creating limits and focusing on solutions.

Mutual respect. Parents model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation, and kindness by respecting the needs and humanity of the child.

will feel obliged to cruise up to the boundaries you've set and test them occasionally, just to make sure they're firmly in place.

He's not deliberately trying to drive you insane; he's either exploring at his age-appropriate level or learning about consistency and making sure adults mean what they say (an important part of trust).

Toddlers are highly impulsive little people, and warnings are simply overpowered by the desire to touch, hold, and explore.

He is a small scientist using his hands, mouth, and imperfect coordination to determine the properties of the marvelous world around him. Your real tasks as a parent are prevention, vigilance—and very quick reflexes.

Understanding the belief behind behavior. All human behavior happens for a reason, and children start creating the beliefs that form their personality from the day they are born. You will be far more effective at changing your child's behavior when you understand the beliefs behind it.

Understanding child development and age-appropriateness. This is necessary so that parents don't expect behavior of children that is beyond their ability and comprehension.