Quotes from Elaine N. Aron

Some of the most important containers are the precious people in your life: spouse, parent, child, brother or sister, grandparent, close friend, spiritual guide, or therapist.

there are the even less tangible containers: your work, memories of good times, certain people you cannot be with anymore but who live on in memory, your deepest beliefs and philosophy of life, inner worlds of prayer or meditation.

Without HSPs in positions at the top in a society or organization, the warrior types tend to make impulsive decisions that lack intuition, use power and force abusively, and fail to take into account history and future trends. That's no insult to them; it is just their nature. (This was the whole point of Merlin's role in the King Arthur legends; similar figures are in most Indo-European epics.)

But now you know the specific cause of your difficulty with [certain tasks] and can explore ways around the overarousal they create. So there's really very little that you can't do if you find a way to do it in your own style.

While it is wise to accept what we cannot change about ourselves, it is also good to remember that we are never too old to replace discouragement with bits and pieces of confidence and hope.

selfishness, rage. Since you were so eager to please, others could ignore your needs when, in fact, yours were often greater than theirs. This would only fuel your anger. But such feelings may have been so frightening that you buried them. The fear of their breaking out would become yet another source of "unreasonable" fears and nightmares.

without people. But they can't go too long. When you retreat, you lose your sense of reality, your adaptability. Getting older can also take you out of touch with reality, cause you to lose your flexibility. You need to stay out there more as you age. But as you age, grace develops, too. Your basic traits become stronger, especially if you develop all of yourself, not just your sensitivity.

When I'm exhausted, I need sleep. Even when I seem totally wide awake. A regular schedule and a calm routine before bed are important to me. Otherwise, I will lie awake in bed all stirred up for hours. I need a lot of time in bed, even if I'm lying awake. I may need it in the middle of the day, too. Please let me have it.

List the major events you remember from childhood and adolescence, the memories that shaped who you are.

The world needs to coax more such folks into public positions. But if they don't coax us, we had better volunteer now and then.

Would you rather be a happy pig or an unhappy human?

But many HSPs avoid people who come in the overstimulating packages—the strangers, the big parties, the crowds. For

Just be careful about accepting labels for yourself, such as "inhibited," "introverted," or "shy." As we move on, you'll understand why each of these mislabels you. In general, they miss the essence of the trait and give it a negative tone. For example, research has found that most people, quite wrongly, associate introversion with poor mental health. When HSPs identify with these labels, their confidence drops lower

I think relationship problems are still social, not genetic.

unless people have some emotional reason to learn something, they do not learn it very well or at all.

Beware of talking so much that your child becomes quiet because he cannot think of things to say as fast as you can. You tend to leap (or speak) first and look a little later. Your child is thinking over what you have said and what to say back, while you may have already changed the subject. Leave silences.

And while a difficult past may seem at first to hamper our living our life's purpose, sometimes it serve the purpose, too. Or it is the purpose—to fully experience and understand a certain kind of human problem.

Erityisherkät voivat tiivistää kaikki etikettisäännöt kolmen sanan sääntöön: vähennä toisen ylivirittyneisyyttä. (Tai kahteen sanaan: ole ystävällinen.)

However, how will you feel going to your grave without having tried?

accepting that no one person can relate to all of you. Indeed, accepting the loneliness that goes with giftedness may be the most freeing, empowering step of all. But also accept its opposite, that there's no need to feel isolated, for everyone is gifted in some way.

love is a force in human psychology that never disappears.

Much of the suffering of sensitive artists could be prevented by understanding the impact of this alternating of the low stimulation of creative isolation with the increased stimulation of public exposure...

shy, weak, or that greatest sin of all, unsociable. Fearing these labels, we try to be like others. But that leads to our becoming overaroused and distressed.

When the extraverted were with someone who was highly introverted, they liked not having to be so cheerful. And the introverted found conversing with the extraverted "a breath of fresh air." The picture we gain from Thorne is that each type contributes something to this world that is equally important.