Quotes About Experience

So far, at least, I haven't found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny.

I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.

Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

It was a sobering experience.

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.

What this country needs is a credit card for charging things to experience.

Yeah, that's funny, huh?...Something hurts you real bad and you get used to it. Like being hurt becomes part of who you are.

I had never been to second base.

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing.

I know this music from memory, not from the music.

It's difficult to remember when you haven't played it before.

I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release.

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

Funny the way it is, not right or wrong, somebody's heart is broken, and it becomes your favorite song.

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.

Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.

I was often getting hired to play sociopaths and psychopaths and stuff, which is really funny.

It may sound funny, but I got a thrill when I was pulled into a crowd once. It was like 'How am I going to get out of this?!

I had a tumor. But it was great.

I grew up in a funny way.

It's in our own lives, every single day, whether we recognize it as funny at the moment or not.