Quotes About Humor

There!" Samantha wiped her hands and grinned. "It's gone. I feel better already!" She hurried away from the Dumpster. As Ashley and I followed Samantha down the street, I glanced back. I could see that one of the scarecrow's arms was caught on the edge of the Dumpster. "It looks like it's trying to climb out," I murmured to my sister. "Don't tell that to Samantha!" Ashley whispered back.

How many of you ever started dating someone because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

I majored in nursing. I had to drop it. I ran out of milk.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved that my professor didn't exist.

Have you ever dated someone because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

Satire doesn't stand a chance against reality anymore.

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you find it.

Im Grunde wollte Smutek ihnen den kürzesten aller Witze erzählen: Treffen sich zwei Menschen. Sagt der eine: Ich bin glücklich.

Die Tatsache, dass wahre Schönheit mit Selbstvergessenheit zu tun hatte, passte zum seltsamen Humor des Schöpfers: Jene, die sie besaßen, wussten nichts damit anzufangen, während alle, die etwas davon verstanden, niemals in ihren Besitz gelangten.

Jede Anekdote endete allerdings mit der Feststellung, warum es sich trotzdem lohnte, eine Rossfrau zu lieben: Ihr Hintern blieb bis ins hohe Alter straff, sie wollte keine Kinder und ging nicht fremd.

So sorry. Sit down in the seat of shame between your parents. Hee.

My mother is a muttonhead.

That's Kansas. Or Missouri. One of those corn states.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

Elaine is just in pain. I think Elaine has become very, very sad woman. She is someone who is in deep need of many hours of analysis and I like to think that I'm not that type of person.

Anthony looked down at his evil clutches -- hands, he reminded himself, hands -- and grinned anew.

Caroline, do you value your neck?" "Yes, I'm rather fond of it. Why?" "Because if you don't shut up, I'm going to wring it.

Love is blind," Harriet quipped. "But not illiterate," Elizabeth retorted.

The look Anthony shot at his sister was so comically malevolent Simon nearly laughed. He managed to restrain himself, but mostly just because he was fairly certain that any show of humor would cause Anthony's fist to lose its battle with his brain, with Simon's face emerging as the conflict's primary casualty.

Milk?" Lady Bridgerton asked. "Thank you," Gareth replied. "No sugar, if you please." "Hyacinth takes hers with three," Gregory said, reaching for a piece of shortbread. "Why," Hyacinth ground out, "would he care?" "Well," Gregory replied, taking a bite and chewing, "he is your special friend.

Mother," Hyacinth said with a great show of solicitude, "you know I love you dearly—" "Why is it," Violet pondered, "that I have come to expect nothing good when I hear a sentence beginning in that manner?

How I Would Like to Kill My Brother, Version Sixteen By Olivia Bevelstoke No. really, what was the point? She could hardly top Version Fifteen, which had featured both vivisection and wild boar.

You are always looking at people like this." And then she made a face, one he couldn't possibly begin to describe. "If I ever look like that," he said dryly, "precisely like that, to be more precise, I give you leave to shoot me.

There was a certain history to this. While heavily pregnant with Amelia, she had asked him if she was radiant or if she just looked like a waddling duck. He told her she'd looked like a radiant duck. This had not been the correct answer.