Quotes About Humor

This is a Southern gift, isn't it - tremendous self-regard diluted with humor and modesty. That's what they mean by Southern charm, right?

While I love most, not to say all, of James Thurber's cartoons, there are a handful that seem especially

When a person is only half an ass like me, and not a complete one, she senses certain things.

Da soll mich doch gleich ein gekochter Hummer kitzeln, grollte der Kapitän

Hobhouse introduced Appleby. Sir David, without budging, extruded so pungent a benevolence that the effect was rather that of coming upn a skunk unawares.

As the old saying goes, "If my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.

why they studied economics, and they'd explain that it was the most practical course of study, even while they spent their time drawing funny little graphs.

The guy walks around with a banana in his ear. And people are like, 'Why do you have a banana in your ear?' He says, 'To keep the alligators away! There are no alligators! See?

National Sarcasm Society: Like We Need Your Support.

He still had the Dutch habit of laughing at whatever you told him, just in case it happened to be a joke.

Trump was like . . . I love the Bangles! You know that song 'Walk Like an Egyptian'?

No one wanted to get in a fight with Amos, said the psychologist Irv Beaterman. Not in public. I only once ever say anyone do it. It was this philosopher at a conference. He gets up to give his talk. He's going to challenge heuristics. Amos was there. When he finished talking, Amos got up to rebut. It was like an ISIS beheading but with humour.

There was a joke that captured the antiseptic spirit of behaviorism that Skinner himself liked to tell: A couple makes love. Afterward, one of them turns to the other and says, "It was good for you. How was it for me?

He laughed, but in the way people do who want to prove they get the joke. The Dutch do this a lot. They appear to live in terror of being mistaken for Germans, and to compensate by finding a funny side to life where none exists. Tell a Dutchman that your dog just died, and he will pretend that you have just made some impossibly witty remark.

Kelly Heath had played second base in the Royals organization, and had exactly one major league at bat, in 1982, after the Royals regular second baseman, Frank White, decided in the middle of a game that his hemorrhoids were bothering him. As one of the other scouts put it, Kelly was the only player in history whose entire big league career was made possible by a single asshole. Chris Pittaro had played second base for

An engineer's idea of a joke is a practical joke, perhaps because a practical joke, unlike the less practical kind, needs to be designed. It requires the jokester to build the contraption to ensnare his victim.

Value investors like Graham and Dodd are so focused on being the last one laughing that they miss a lot of the laughs in between.

the kind of woman who would breeze into the bathroom while I was shaving and say, "Yo, shithead—you going to fix that shelf like you said, or do I have to take you back to Husbands-R-Us?

the kind of beards which make you look like you've glued a racoon to your face. The

A joke is a witticism or play on words that's meant to be funny. I say 'meant to be' because most jokes aren't funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducingly annoying.

she had a laugh that hinted it had rolled around once or twice in the mud.

Eric and I try to analyse this phenomenon and decide it can only be that the Swedes have no sense of humour of their own and have to import it.

Christopher said to himself that only those who are capable of silliness can be called truly intelligent.

I mumble something, Terry J bravely launches into a school reminiscence. TG, with consummate timing, kicks over the urn with Graham's ashes in. From then on, we're invincible.