Quotes About Humor

Leary and Haynes published a fanzine called Strange V.D., which featured the most horrendous medical photographs they could find accompained by captions describing fictitious diseases like "taco leg" and "pine cone butt.

Oh well, bears will be bears," said Mr Brown.

I suppose," she said to Paddington as they stepped on the escalator, "we ought really to carry you. It says you're supposed to carry dogs, but it doesn't say anything about bears.

They are funny, too. And not always intentionally, either, which as far as I am concerned is the very best kind of funny.

Don't duh me! Puck snapped. Trying to figure out what you're thinking from one day to the next takes more brains than I have. Well, maybe you should stop. I'd hate to burn out that little peanut in your head.

He turned into a rhinocerous, Ms. Smirt said. He does that, Sabrina said.

Don't disrespect the sword marshmallow.

I ate her cooking for eighteen years, he whispered. You get used to it. Oh yeah, when? I think it happened around the seventeenth year, Henry said.

Puck stopped his drumming [on his belly] for a brief moment and grinned at Sabrina. I hear they have a lot of plastic surgeons in New York City. If I were you I'd make an appointment for that face as soon as you get there, he quipped. Sabrina scowled and shook a fist at him. Keep it up, stinkpot, and you're going to need a plastic surgeon yourself. Puck winked. No need to get all mushy on me, Grimm.

My Saturday Night. My Saturday night is like a microwave burrito. Very tough to ruin something that starts out so bad to begin with.

I understand," he said. "Please let me know." He meant it to sound patient and cooperative, but somehow it came out as abject. Rosa started to laugh. She put her arms around him, and he rubbed the smeared lipstick into her cheeks until it was gone. "How

You can't walk me to school," Tommy said. He came into the kitchen, sat down before his plate, and stared at it, waiting for Sammy to pile it with eggs. "Mom, you can't possibly. I would die. I would absolutely die." "He would die," Sammy told Rosa. "Which would be very embarrassing for me," Rosa said. "Standing there next to a dead body in front of William Floyd Junior High.

Like all of his friends, he considered it a compliment when somebody called him a wiseass.

His mother is calling him on the ultrasonic frequency reserved by the government for Jewish mothers in the event of lunch.

man makes plans. God laughs

My Saturday night is like a microwave burrito. Very tough to ruin something that starts out so bad to begin with.

there had been times in the past when my sister-in-law's counsel, while never useful, had provided a certain amount of welcome bemusement, like the advice of an oracular hen.

I put my hand down below the table to check my zipper. You have to stand before a jury only once with your fly open and it will never happen again

What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?" "What?" "You have a vowel movement.

I told him through the door that he could take his job and shove it up his ass. 'Course, a week later I had to ask him to pull it out of his ass and give it back to me.

Nothing came up on the pubic comb, because you don't have a lot down there to comb. Bottom

had going on it.' Lindell laughed as though I had suggested something absurd.

Hammond turned to Gennaro. You know, of course, what Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler do. They are paleontologists. They dig up dinosaurs. And then he began to laugh, as if he found the idea very funny.

That dosent look dangerous it looks like a giant chiken.