Quotes About Humor

No matter what the fuck he pulled-and my brother pulled a lot of shit-she was always a hundred percent on his side, as only a Latin mom can be with her querido oldest hijo. If he'd come home one day an said, Hey, Ma, I exterminated half the planet, I´m sure she would have defended his ass: Well, hijo, we were overpopulated.

Jesus, Oscar, Rudolfo said nervously. You look like they put a shirt on a turd

danced like a goat with a rock stuck in its ass.

Any woman who laughs as dope as she does won't ever have trouble finding men.

Mami might have been skinny, a bad thing on the Island, but she was smart and funny and that's hard to find anywhere.

In August Rafa quit his job at the carpet factory—I'm too fucking tired, he complained, and some mornings his leg bones hurt so much he couldn't get out of bed right away. The Romans used to shatter these with iron clubs, I told him while I massaged his shins. The pain would kill you instantly. Great, he said. Cheer me up some more, you fucking bastard.

My brother had never been the most rational of agents, but this one was the ill zinger.

Although Kurt Vonnegut may not be considered a humor writer, 'Breakfast of Champions' is one of the funniest books I've ever read.

Were you born in a barn? I must have been, mom asked me so often... You would've thought she would know if anyone did!

Let's Plays aren't our thing (except for our first episode). We let guys like JonTron, PBG, and Continue take the lead on Let's Plays. I doubt we would even be that entertaining voicing them. We're more into informative humor and skits. We might do some specials down the line or possibly some sort of Live-Stream with us playing games, but not in the next few months.

So I'm deputizing for the deputy, am I?, asked Connor with a grin.

I have 20 000 girlfriends, all around the world.

That made her first bark with laughter, then hoot loudly, ending with a horsey snort. She was a symphony of animal noises.

You know there are better ways to meet a guy then running him over.

You know, there are easier ways to meet a guy than to run him over.

Let's examine what prize that is one more time; no more direct sunlight ever again, no more laughter. You get eternity, but you don't have the sense of humor to enjoy it! Also, vampires don't eat food. You never get to eat chocolate again. Ever. I'd rather die.

Didn't anyone ask you where your parents are?" "They asked. Especially about my parents." "What did you tell them?" "I said I ate them." "Jesus, Rosa.

When a man wants to send you some flowers, always say to him: "My florist is Cartier".

It is hard not to write satire.

Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive.

How can anyone doubt the existence of God when evidence of His sense of humour surrounds us on all sides?

Robert often displayed a sense of humor. Upon seeing Karl Compton's two-year-old daughter pretending to read a small red book—which just happened to be on the topic of birth control—Robert looked over at the very pregnant Mrs. Compton and quipped, "A little late.

street, but he had forgotten the number of the house. He remembered only that it was a multiple of seven. "So we drove up and down the street," Kamen recalled, "and finally found Number 3528, a multiple of seven, all right. Thinking about it now, I wonder sometimes whether he wasn't pulling everybody's leg a little bit. . . . He had this overwhelming temptation just to snow you.