Quotes About Humor

Very well, you two," Pattern said. "No mating. NO MATING." He hummed to himself, as if pleased, then sank down onto a plate.

humor is the only thing I've got left. Humor and determination.

Can I borrow David?" "Please, Prof," Cody said, "we're friends. You should know by now that you needn't ask something like that Ã¢â'¬Â¦ you should be well aware of my standard charge for renting one of my minions. Three pounds and a bottle of whiskey." I wasn't sure if I should be more insulted at being called a minion, or at the low price to rent me.

You look just fine." "Ah, 'just fine.' Exactly what a woman loves to hear." "I'm sorry," he said. "I meant to say that you look like a barbarian who just finished killing her seventeenth rabid tiger to make a necklace out of their incisors.

Breeze chuckled. "I don't know if you noticed the earthquake a few minutes ago, my dear man, but the world appears to be ending. That is an indisputably depressing event.

So it's our fault." "Yes. Like everything else. War. Famine. Bad hair." "Wait. Bad hair?" Shallan blew a lock of it out of her eyes. "Loud. Stubborn. Oblivious to our attempts to fix it. The Almighty gave us messy hair to prepare us for living with men.

I'm an expert on one-armed Herdazian jokes. 'Lopen,' my mother always says, 'you must learn these to laugh before others do. Then you steal the laughter from them, and have it all for yourself.

The woman looked up at Lift. "He's right about that, um..." "Say it," Lift said. "Your Pancakefulness." "Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

Has no one done my son a service and assassinated you yet?" "No assassins yet," Wit said, amused. "I guess I've already got too much ass sass of my own."..."Oh really, Wit" she said. "I thought that kind of humour was beneath you." "So are you technically," Wit said, smiling, from atop his high-legged stool.

Oh! You'll find this amusing. I just translated the name of their ship. In their language, it roughly means, 'Big Enough to Kill You.'

She stuck her tongue out at him. A totally rational and reasonable way to fight a demigod.

Whenever I'm thinkin' my life is miserable, I remember him, and tell myself, 'Well, Wayne. At least you ain't a broke, dickless feller what can't even pick his own nose properly.' And I feels better.

Like slipping on a banana peel around a corner at eighty miles an hour. Piece of cake.

I'm so storming clever that half the time, even I can't follow what I'm talking about.

Or you could be a serial killer who specializes in reading books, then seeking out the authors and murdering them in horrible ways. (If you happen to fall into that last category, you should know that my name isn't really Alcatraz Smedry, nor is it Brandon Sanderson. My name is in fact Garth Nix, and you can find me in Australia. Oh, and I insulted your mother once. What're you going to do about it, huh?)

I smiled, then realized I was talking to a weird cave slug, which was a new low even for me.

You realize he's claiming to have been in the Olympics, she sent. But a leprechaun stole his medal.

Cuz in my experience, marryin' is the one thing people seem to get worse at the more they do it. Well, that and bein' alive.

I've seen rocks that fly almost as well as you do - I could drop one in your seat, paint the head blue, and at least I'd stop getting lip!

I believe that human beings need humor during times of depression," M-Bot said.

Laugh when good things happen. Laugh when bad things happen. Laugh when life is so plain boring that you can't find anything amusing about it beyond the fact that it's so utterly unamusing.

Never let something trivial, like a sense of humor, get in the way of a good joke.

Waxillium found himself nodding. "You can be very wise sometimes, Wayne." "It's onnacount of my thinkin', mate," Wayne said, tapping his head, increasing the thickness of his accent. "It's what I do wif my brain. Somma the time, at least.

Oh, you didn't want to hear that? I'm sorry. You'll just have to forget that I wrote it. There are several convenient ways to do that. I hear hitting yourself on the head with a blunt object can be very effective. You should try using one of Brandon Sanderson's fantasy novels. They're big enough, and goodness knows, that's really the only useful thing to do with them.