Quotes About Humor

Storms, woman," [Kaladin] said. "I don't know what to make of you." "Preferably not a corpse." "I'm surprised someone hasn't already done that.

You see the dilemma?" Ham asked. "I see an idiot," Breeze mumbled.

I'd be offended if I could be offended," he said. "Maybe I should start calling you a cow, since you have four limbs, are made of meat, and have rudimentary biological mental capacities.

Hello?' M-Bot said. 'Spensa? Are you dead?' 'Maybe.' 'Oooh. Like the cat!' '...What?' 'I'm not sure, honestly,' M-Bot said. 'But logically, if you're speaking to me then possibility has collapsed in our favor. Hurray!

I ain't drunk," Wayne said, sniffling. "I'm investigatin' alternative states of sobriety.

Now, I had been frightened on several different occasions in my life. The most frightening of these involved an elevator and a mime.

If you are anything like me --- Clever, fond of goat cheese, and devilishly handsome --- then you have undoubtedly read many books.

That's because Wit is an asshole

Our names and titles are assigned randomly by a small monkey who has been fed an exceedingly large amount of gin.

That's an answer in the same way that ketchup can be hair gel.

My other hand?' Lopen said. 'The one that was cut off long ago, eaten by a fearsome beast? It is making a rude gesture toward you right now. I thought you would want to know, so you can prepare to be insulted.

Of course I am," Wax said. "This is my second marriage. I'm an old hand at the practice by now." Wayne grinned. "Oh, is that how it works? 'Cuz in my experience, marryin' is the one thing people seem to get worse at the more they do it. Well, that and bein' alive.

You have quite the clever tongue on you!" "I've never actually had someone's tongue on me," Shallan said, turning a page and not looking up, "clever or not. I'd hazard to consider it an unpleasant experience." "It ain't so bad," Gaz said.

That soup tasted better than the blood of my enemies. Considering I'd never actually tasted the blood of my enemies, perhaps that didn't do justice to the soup.

The sun peeked over the horizon like the head of a giant radioactive manatee.

Of course not. I'd have shot you right in the head, Wayne." "You're a good friend," Wayne said. "Thanks, Wax." "You're the only person I know that I can cheer up by promising to kill him.

Maybe I'll remove dying from my list of tasks to do this week.

I needed to say something. Something romantic! Something to sweep her off her feet. "You're like a potato!" I shouted after her. "In a minefield.

Why must you choose the only dignified person in this crew as the butt of your mockery?" "Because, my dear man," Ham said, imitating Breeze's accent, "you are, by far, the best butt we have.

Oh, storms. That was awful." "No it was funny. You seem to get those two mixed up a lot. Don't worry. I'm here to help.

More twisted than a librarian's love life (trust me, they're a strange bunch)

Wayne held back a smile, tucking it into his pocket for later use.

Oh, I'm not objecting, I'd let a confused dishwasher marry us.

Prof's ability makes mine look like a piece of rice. And not even a cooked one.