Quotes About Humor

People looked at me, shocked. I gave them a nice big smile. That's right, look what big teeth I have. I knew I was a vegetarian, but aside from Jim and a few friends, nobody else did. Besides, just because I didn't eat meat, didn't mean I wouldn't bite.

If you prefer, I can acquire a windowless creeper van, and we can huddle in it and eat greasy take out.

What the hell is this?" Desandra asked. "This is Cuddles. She's a mammoth donkey." Derek grinned, leaning on the fence. "Do you have any self-respect left?" "Nope.

You like the girl, Alasdair offered. Nassar leveled a heavy gaze at him. Lillian said you tried to be funny in the car. I told her it couldn't possibly be true. The moment you try to make a joke, the sky shall split and the Four Horsemen will ride out, heralding Apocalypse.

After I chased the werewolf and the vampire out of my office, I changed my clothes.

She grinned at me. "Aha, took you a second. Don't worry, I only poison random strangers on Tuesdays." "Today is Tuesday," Leon said. "Oops. Well, that's okay. You told me your name, so we're not strangers. You should be safe." She turned to Leon. "But I don't know who you are. No promises.

How is it that Raphael made more holes in you than in swiss cheese, but your assholeness survived?" "Raphael doesn't have a knife big enough to kill my assholeness.

I wouldn't put it past you," Kaldar said. "Or him. Who knows what the hell he might do?" William made a cutting motion across his throat. "He might kill you if you're not careful," she told him. "Who, Will? We're the best of friends." William rolled his eyes.

I see Kayla dragged you into this." I smiled at him. "No, sir, I just came to borrow a cup of sugar." "Heh.

This is embarrassing," Mr. Haffey informed me. I winked at him. "What, Mrs. Haffey never carried you over the threshold on your wedding night?

Did you hear that? a woman asked. I crouched behind the growth. No. No, you didn't hear anything. Don't mind me, I'm not hiding the corpse of a nasty creature behind your flower bed. Nope. Nothing here but cute, fluffy bunnies scampering adorably into the night...

Did you blow up a kraken? Maybe. He laughed into the phone.

This it the hand that slapped Aunt B, here you can touch it since you're my best friend

He hit her with his best smile. Her eyes widened. She took a deep breath. "Oh no, not that seductive face. I'm overcome with the need to take off these awful clothes. What is happening? I do not understand. Oooh. Ahhh." She touched her wrist to her forehead. "Somebody help me. I'm being drenched with my own fluids." Evil woman.

Strawberry Shortcake called, she wants her outfit back

I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. I'm sorry, I must've missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me. from Clean Sweep

Small talk with the dragon. How are you? Eaten any adventurers lately? Sure, just had one this morning. Look, I still got his femur stuck in my teeth. Is that upsetting to you?

I think it says something that I have never had an obscene letter. A young man once attempted one, but it was so totally illiterate and hopeless that it made me laugh.

Like all young men I set out to be a genius, but mercifully laughter intervened.

I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people.

You know all those young people watching Comedy Central love 'Frasier.'

I used to make fun of young people when I was 17 - the angst, the insecurities, all those tattoos.

Comedy Central is what these young people are viewing. The network speaks to their audience, which is saying, 'Give me fast jokes. Give me party stories and party language.'

Everyone has a crazy old lady in their family like 'Mama.' No one ever comes up to me and says 'Mama' is just like them, so no one is ever offended by her. Even young people like to laugh at her. I think she helps kids appreciate their own grandmothers more.