Quotes About Humor

For me hotness was a complicated matter involving brains, humor, and some other things, but all that aside, I was willing to admit Sean Evans was nice to look at.

Seducing him in the tub smelling of vinegar was out of the question. There had to be some boundaries.

I don't trust tragedies much. It's easy to make a person sad by showing him something tragic. We all recognize when sad things happen: someone dies, someone loses a loved one, young love is crushed. It's much harder to make a man laugh-what's funny to one person isn't funny to another.

If he ever becomes an issue, I could eat him. He looks delicious. Thank you, but that won't be necessary. And that wasn't creepy. Not at all. Caldenia smiled. You will be surprised how difficult it is to get rid of a human body. I'd say he is perhaps a hundred and seventy pounds? That's a lot of flesh to manage. We could freeze it. He'd feed me for at least three months.

Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. Just ask Peaches.

Why don't you use your own sword?" George asked. "He might break it." "I wouldn't." Hugh put his hand on his heart. "He would," I told George. "He's a sonovabitch." Hugh laughed. "We just met and she knows me so well.

I'm starving. I haven't had anything to eat since I stole a bear claw from your kitchen this morning. You didn't steal it. All my bear claws are yours.

Nothing kills a party like an oversize metal hedgehog.

Will you take this seriously? The future of an entire species is at stake." "Yes, we're going to save them with a fart gun.

And what causes orgasm in a man?" Kate Daniels, the sex-ed specialist. Kill me, somebody.

Had he expected me to hump her leg?

If he ever frosted his hair blue, he'd look like a gas burner.

Her eyes sparkled. "You should try calling, 'Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.'" "I will kill you and nobody will find your body.

It's not funny. I've got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard.

What did you write on here? 'Don't die'?" "No, I wrote, 'Don't be an asshole!'"I headed for the house. "On yours or mine?" "On yours." "Well, in that case, your magic isn't working. I'm still an asshole.

Did you see how she got all hot under the collar? Grandma Frida said in a theatrical whisper behind me. She's not over him. I can hear you!

I would try being friends with her, but she's too busy being a smartass. Now you know how the rest of us feel, Jim said.

Dakkan, my spear. My grandmother had a huge problem with that name, because the closest translation of it to English would be "Stabby." She claimed it wasn't a proper name for a weapon, so after the first Dakkan broke, I offered to name the new one Sharpy McStabbison, the Son of Stabby, after which she groaned and left my quarters, followed by a throng of her advisors all giving me reproachful looks.

Your horse is a donkey, your poodle is a giant wolf breed, and your boyfriend is whatever the hell he is. You have problems.

If you hang up on me again, I will slice your car into small pieces and hang them on your roof like Christmas wreaths.

Great, now I've turned into a manga character who repeated everything everyone said.

I can't wait to see a pack of bunnycats take down a wild hog with those short tiny legs. Wouldn't the boar be surprised?

Eleven out of twelve work fine. I'd say that's better chances than getting an orgasm with a blind date and women still try.

Maybe I should roll down the window to let some of the sexual tension out.