Quotes About Humor

Kate, perhaps you need to explain to your significant other that he is in no position to give me orders. Last time I checked, his title was Beast Lord, which is a gentle euphemism for a man who strips nude at night and runs around through the woods hunting small woodland creatures. I'm a premier Master of the Dead. I will go where I please.

I wanted you to stop." "I was encouraged by you breathlessly moaning my name." I spun on my foot. "I wasn't moaning your name. I was shrieking in alarm." "That was the sexiest throaty shrieking I've ever heard." "You need to get out more.

Kate stood by the door with her arms crossed. That was an anti-Curran pose. What the hell was the Beast Lord doing here? I padded to the door. "First, you didn't come home." Curran's voice held zero humor. "Second, I'm told that my mate is lingering in Raphael's house. There can't be any good reason for you to be here." "Are you spying on me, Your Furriness?" Kate asked.

I can't believe I have to say this. You there, dashing male secretary! Drop the frying pan.

If you don't explain it all to me, I might strangle somebody. Of course, Raphael might like that...

Curran gave me a flat look. I can always drive to a burger joint instead. Oh, so you'd throw a burger down my throat and expect making out in the back seat? He grinned. We can do it in the front seat instead, if you prefer. Or on the hood of the car. I'm not doing it on the hood of the car. Is that a dare? Why me?

I'm going to kick you in the head when I get home. Repeatedly.

Oh no, is it naked time?

I wouldn't want his demonic, undead-blood-smeared, wolf-smelling ass riding me either.

He wanted to wear sweatpants, because "they tear easier." I asked him if he wanted me to get him some male stripper jeans so he could avoid looking like a Russian gangster from pre-Shift movies, after which he got all offended and put on a pair of regular jeans instead.

You're touching me," I chided him. He caressed my back, sliding his hand down, hitting every sensitive point I hadn't even known I had. "No, this is touching you. That was just accidental contact." "Oh? Good to know. If you touch me again and I break your arm off, you can be sure it will be completely accidental.

Do we have a flamethrower?" Curran asked. "No." "We should get a flamethrower.

I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus. Saiman said dryly. Thank you for reminding me. Always happy to oblige.

I have a vamp body for you, Andrea said. It's in the freezer. I gave her a nice smile. You shouldn't have.

The sight of me puffing and straining apparently amused him to no end.

I've been assigned to bodyguard you. You've got to be kidding me. Derek snorted. Ascanio pretended not to hear it. The Beast Lord spoke to me this morning. I'm responsible for your well-being, and if you get injured, I'll answer to him personally. Oh, that bastard. Found the kid an impossible job, did he? Derek laughed quietly. Ascanio finally deemed it necessary to acknowledge Derek's existence. Is something funny? I don't even know you, and I feel sorry for you.

Did you just grab my butt?" I whispered. "What?" "Curran!" "Yes?" I could hear controlled laughter in his voice. Unbelievable. I sped up. "We're tracking ghouls and you're grabbing my butt." "I always make sure to pay attention to important things.

Hold your horses. I'm coming.... From where I'm standing you're just breathing laboriously. The snow swam out of focus. Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You've got to get your one-liners straight.

Call her out," Arabella said. "Tell her Rogan is yours!" Grandma Frida pumped her fist. "Don't let her take your man!" Leon declared. We all looked at him. "I was feeling left out," he said.

Okay, Juke said. Your horse is a donkey, your poodle is a giant wolf breed, and your boyfriend is whatever the hell he is. You have problems.

Is there a cookie at the end of this lecture? ... I got a cookie after all ... Dear god, the cookie was poisoned.

Because that's what it would catch in the wild, a boar, right? I can't wait to see a pack of bunnycats take down a wild hog with those short tiny legs. Wouldn't the boar be surprised? Everybody was a comedian. May be if I oink loud enough, it'll leap across the beam and try to devour me.

Screwy, I said. Is that a medical term? Of course.

This was heaven. Hey, baby, Hugh said. Heaven just got canceled.