Quotes About Humor

Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.

You should name him Fezzik. Inconceivable.

I'm welding the bimbo room shut.

Secret to what? Secret to shutting you up, he said. I just have to beat you till you're half-dead, then give you chicken soup and--he raised his hands--blessed silence.

What would I do without the moral compass of a teenage werewolf?

I chuckled to myself and kept walking. The Universe had proven Curran wrong: a person who aggravated him more than me did, in fact, exist.

Are you hungry, baby?" Curran asked. "Starving." "I think we should go to dinner." "Great idea." "What are you going to wear?" "My badass face." "Good choice," he said. »

I tried to picture a female version of Jim and got Jim in a dress instead. The image was disturbing.

Quick, Derek, it's your chance to shine, Ascanio said. Derek gave him a withering look. Desandra is a mother, Robert is married, Kate's affianced, and I'm an old soul. You're the closest thing to a virgin we've got. Get on with growing some flowing locks.

Desandra shrugged her shoulders. Hey, Kate? Have you thought of walking up to Hugh and telling him that he's got the biggest dick ever? She spread her arms to the size of a baseball bat. No, you think it would work? I asked. It's worth a try. May be he'll be so happy you noticed his pork sword, he'll forget all about trying to kill us. Pork sword. Kill me now. I'll think about it. Ascanio began patting his clothes. What? Derek growled. Looking for something to take notes with.

You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right? Meant every word. A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, Baby. No. He laughed. You should see your face right now. Don't call me that. Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'? He winked.

Wanna spot me? No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you?

She handed him a glass of water and two Aleve gelcaps. "They're anti-inflammatories. They will dull the pain a little bit and keep down swelling and redness. Swallow the pills, don't chew." "Well, I thought I'd stick them into my nose and impersonate a walrus, but if you insist, I'll swallow them.

The judge's massive eyebrows crept up. Kaldar. Are you the one speaking for the plaintiff today? Yes, Your Honor. Well, shit, Dobe said. I guess you're familiar with the law. You hit it over the head, set its house on fire, and got its sister pregnant.

I turned and bumped my head against his chest a few times. It was the nearest hard surface.

I had the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack.

Would you care for something to drink?" "Is it poisoned?" "It's Saturday," I said. "We only serve poison during the week.

Oh, it's you, Curran's voice said quietly. I thought it was an elephant.

Cute. I think I would prefer to be stabbed in the eye rather than be called cute.

I looked at him. You really need to work on your threats. I can't tell if you're threatening me or inviting me for tea.

If the lot of you survives, Curran will flay the skin off your backs, Doolittle said. That's what I always love about you, Doctor. Raphael grinned. You're a cup-halfway-full kind of guy. All flowers and sunshine.

What is wrong with you? Many, many things.

Andrea: ....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle." Kate: "He isn't a poodle. He's a Doberman mix. Andrea: "Aha. Keep telling yourself that.

I had to give it him, to flatter and insult a woman in one propostition took talent.