Quotes About Humor

Perhaps I just wasn't scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs.

Where is Barbie? The female shifter snickered and choked it off. Is there a stripper pole?

I also stole a small yellow doughnut from the box of Duncan's doughnuts in the rec room and fed it to the attack poodle in my office. He made a great production of it. First, he growled at the doughnut, just to show it who was boss. Then he nudged it with his nose. Then he licked it, until finally he snagged it into his mouth and chomped it with great pleasure, dropping crumbs all over the carpet.

Who is that?" "Your replacement." "You replaced me with a shaved poodle?" "He's got mad skills.

Curran and Kate stood by the door. "I can't believe you decided to come down here and check on me," she said. "The guy once handed you a fan and told you to fan yourself if the sight of his naked torso was too much." "That was like a year ago. Will you let it go already?" "No." Curran grabbed her and pulled her to him, kissing her. "Never." She kissed him back and smiled. Awww. Kate and the Beast Lord sitting in a tree…

What's this " "A needle." "What should I do with it " He'd walked right into it. Too easy. "Please use it to pop your head. It's obscuring my view of the room.

Maybe I should add some graffiti to spice it up. For a good time call the Consort. Beast Lord eats your food and turns into a lion in his sleep. Mahon has hemorrhoids. Boudas do it better. Warning, paranoid attack jaguar on the prowl…

I paused with the pen in my hand. He burst into flames? He became engulfed in fire. Was his buddy made out of orange rocks and at any point yell, 'It's clobbering time'?

Some people got vicious Dobermans. I got a shaved attack poodle in a black sweater. His tough, spawn-of-hell image had taken a fatal blow, but at least he would be warm.

But she was funny sometimes, and never boring. God, it would almost be worth it to see her face when she realized that I had saved her ass again. Actually it was quite a nice ass, come to think of it. In fact, my memory of the ass and its owner seemed to be remarkably clear.

Were you watching me sleep? Because I thought we agreed that's creepy.

Enough, Curran said. An unmistakable command saturated his voice. Jim clicked his mouth shut. I crossed my arms. I'm sorry, is this the part where I fall to my knees and shiver in fear, Your Furriness? Silly me, I didn't get the memo.

Do you have a girlfriend?" Grandma Frida asked. I put my hand over my face. "No," Mad Rogan said. "A boyfriend?" Grandma Frida asked. "No." "What about . . ." "No," Mom and I said in unison. "But you don't even know what I wanted to ask!" "No," we said again together. "Party poopers." Grandma shrugged.

Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. "I'm just here to stretch. Kate, want to help?" "Sure." Thirty seconds later, as I was flying through the air, I decided that this wasn't the best idea.

So this is what it's about? This is your mature response to go off into the mountains rather than talking about it and have s'mores with a gnome and a mountain man. Yep What's your plan for tomorrow? Brunch with a unicorn?

Isn't that why you have that gun mounted on the front? Or is it for other reasons, because I would've thought that a man with your powers would be past the urge to compensate." Barabas grinned. "I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus," Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy to oblige.

Mmmm, Kate, the Chief of Security. Sexy. Who better to guard my body then the woman who owns it? Curran, I will punch you.

Can you turn so you're not pressed against me?" "I could," he said, his voice amused. "But then you would have to lie on top of me." My brain said, "NO." My body went, "Wheee!

And let's be honest, you weren't exactly harmed. I even took you home." "You dumped me on my doorstep. According to my mother, I looked half dead." "Your mother exaggerates. A third dead at most." I stared at him. Wow. Just wow.

Now that was a kiss," Grandma Frida said from the doorway behind me. I jumped. "How long have you been there?" "Long enough. That man means business." All my words tried to come out at once. "I don't . . . what . . . asshole! . . . screw himself for all I care!" "Aww, young love, so passionate," Grandma said. "I'm going to buy you a subscription to Brides magazine. You should start shopping for dresses.

Grandpa? Declan raised his eyebrows. We keep him in the shed out back, Jack said helpfully. So he doesn't eat dog brains.

If I pass out face down in this water, will you fish me out? Will you promise to call me Your Majesty? Hell no. Then I'll have to think about it.

If your head explodes can I have your stuff?

You don't return your phone calls." The vampire leaned forward, tapping my doodle with a scimitar claw. "Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?" "Yep." "Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork?" "No, it's a pie. What can I do for Atlanta's premier Master of the Dead?