Quotes About Humor

He laughed to lessen the sting of his sarcasm.

I was hamming it up so much you could virtually taste the salad too.

Those who play rarely become brittle in the face of stress or lose the healing capacity for humor.

Alkan even wrote a piece for four feet, called Bombardo-Carillon, in which the player's legs are likely to get entangled during performance. (When Swiss-American pianist Rudolph Ganz was asked to perform Bombardo-Carillon with a female pianist, he declined on the grounds that he didn't know her well enough.)

All football, hockey and soccer teams would now have to wear tutus." Brian continued. "Well, I like baseball, and we don't have to wear tutus because we don't beat up on each other." "Well put, son." I gave him the thumbs up, while picturing both dugouts racing out onto the field in pink and blue taffeta tutus as they lit into each other in a massive brawl over a bad call at first base.

Must be nice to be a seagull. You eat, you sleep, you shag, and if you're having a bad day you can shite on everyone from a great height. Doesn't even have to be a bad day, you can do it just for fun.

Honestly, some days it's like trying to get an angry ginger tom into a pair of Lycra cycling shorts.

You're not exactly a bag of spanners, and certain male bits have a mind of their own, and can you please stop staring at me like I'm a sex offender.

skoofed his way through a tin of Irn-Bru.

Aye, well, technically he's no' in custody yet. He's just had an unfortunate toilet-related mishap.

What's it like to be that goofy little soldier, scared stiff, with his bayonet aimed at Christ? What's it like to have been a woman in a defense-plant job during World War II? What's it like to be a kid at the front lines? It's all funny and tragic at the same time

Usually when I'm stressed, I'll eat everything not nailed down. Only small children and family pets are safe. And okra—I won't eat okra under any circumstances.

It is not against the law to be a nincompoop. If so, I would have a rap sheet as long as my arm.

Naw, girl. I mean nekkid." Kelsey looked at both of us in mock disgust before explaining. "Naked is when you don't have any clothes on. Nekkid is when you don't have any clothes on and you're up to no good.

joking that the creaking gate always hangs the longest.

My husband would look at the women in those nudie magazines and say, "How come you don't have any chest?" And I said to him, "When you married me, I didn't have a chest. But when I married you, you had a full head of hair."

Gran! Gran?' yelled Jess, racing upstairs. She looked everywhere. Nothing. No aged person. Only Rasputin, looking startled and disapproving. 'Where's Gran, Rasputin? For goodness' sake! Have you eaten her?' cried Jess. Rasputin looked shocked and innocent.

I swear it's true. If I lie to you, may I be changed into a sofa belonging to a fat family addicted to daytime TV and baked beans." (Fred to Jess)

Well, to be honest Dad, I think he's a little bit like you. Sort of useless, and amusing." (Jess regarding Fred)

Teasing is veiled hostility and is almost never funny, unless the teasee has openly agreed to relate that way.

Just measured my thing. It has grown one centimetre. I might be needing it soon.

Sue Townsend

Measured my 'thing'. It was eleven centimetres.

poncy', and the tea, saying it was 'as weak as a sailor's arsehole'. Eventually