Quotes About Humor

The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy.

I love 'Armstrong & Miller.'

I tell people, if you really want me to look that good, why don't you cough up about $2 million more and hire Alec or Billy? If you want me to do it, this is what you get.

If you haven't truly died a million times as a comic you haven't gigged enough!

I'm way too famous and rich to be on a dating app, but if I get very desperate by the time I'm 60, I'll go on Tinder. Or I'll go on 'Millionaire Matchmaker'; I'll call Patti Stanger.

My mum's financial plan is: Romesh becomes a millionaire.

Look, I don't have the millions of dollars that Exxon has. But I've got comedy. I've got satire. I've got stars.

Now I put up something, and I have to think, 'Oh, there are millions of people watching, and some of them could be affected by the jokes I make.'

The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother - and the public.

If I were bombing with my jokes in English, I would go back to France. Maybe do that mime thing.

The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.

Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Even my parents are so cute, and they deal with every movie of mine excellently. They check with me ever so casually by asking 'Now how much of nudity are we going to see in this one?'

I put my parents through mini hell with my laziness and poor grades, so I love making them laugh when they see me on television. When I work, I'm always thinking, 'Would my mother find this funny?' The belly-laugh jokes will hit her every time.

My sister and I had a lemonade stand - with a two-drink minimum.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

I try to make fun of everyone as often as possible, especially minorities.

Humor is based on the way a man looks at life's ironies, and being a member of a minority group can certainly be ironic.

The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities.

My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb with mint sauce.

The minute you make people laugh, you get them to listen.

I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute.

My mother was funnier than anybody I ever worked for. My father was as funny as this coat. Not a laugh a minute, my father.