Quotes About Humor

My father says everything's going to be machines when we grow up. He says the only jobs open will be in junkyards for busted machines. The only thing a machine can't do is play jokes. That's all they'll use people for, is jokes.

Not that the crew of the Toiletship itself were above a practical joke now and then.

Hey, like Godzilla always sez to Mothra—why don't we go eat some place?

It is of immense importance to learn to laugh at ourselves.

E. M. Forster never gets any further than warming the teapot. He's a rare fine hand at that. Feel this teapot. Is it not beautifully warm? Yes, but there ain't going to be no tea.

Moi je me marre et je suis pauvre, vous vous emmerdez et vous êtes riche.

They ought to put a statement on the Bible just like they put on cigarettes - like, the contents of this book may freeze-dry your brains.

I believe, my dear Erienne," he began solicitously, the humor in his voice disguised by a disapproving frown, "that you either have a penchant for self-destruction… or you are somehow testing me… or my ability to protect you. I think this may bear further investigation." -Christopher

If I remember correctly, I called you an asshole doctor." "That's no more than the truth... except I'm not a proctologist.

Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, "Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!"

I don't own a computer. I'm waiting for the kind where I can look at the screen and say, "Hey, I need a pizza," and one comes out and hits me in the eyebrows.

My introduction to the Roman Catholic world was a full immersion baptism in the heady milieu of an Irish—American wedding. The man I was dating, who later became my husband, had invited me to attend the wedding ceremony of a high—school classmate, consisting of a weekend of dinners, parties and, of course, church. It was one of our first dates, a fact that now seems rich with God's good humor.

Like an exasperating but invaluable friend, the Bible keeps bringing me back to my senses, often in bracing (and comical) ways.

Could be worse, I guess. Could have a husband.

most humor starts from irritation.

She had a smooth, low voice and a naughty, shocking sense of humour. Laughter followed in her wake; she collected admirers, both male and female, simply walking across the lobby. She had a certain knack for including everyone in her own private jokes, bending in conspiratorially to say something wickedly off-colour to one of the old stone-faced dowagers waiting for a cab. The next moment, they'd both be giggling uncontrollably

There are no elegant potatoes.

Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny.

hoops on toast.

Let's sit in the back," Eve suggested as they moved toward the rows of chairs set up before a makeshift stage. "No one will hear us if we laugh." Rose chuckled now. "You are so bad.

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

I told myself that it took forty-two facial muscles to frown and only four to stretch out my arm and bitch-slap the witch.

When you've been around as long as me, Lucy, you'll know that there are three types of sex... One - brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two - bedroom sex. Then number three - hallway sex, when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'Fuck you.'" - Lockie