Quotes About Humor

Carrie Fay always says that nothing is really horrible unless it eats away your face.

Yeah. I know. How stupid is it to French kiss a vampire and not expect sharp teeth?

Mimes! You can't tell me the devil doesn't have anything to do with mimes!-Paula, Holy Smokes

I felt like I was ten again and had been caught using my uncle's Cuban cigars as miniature canoes in the toilet.

Oooh, dinner and a show! How come you never take us to dinner and a show?" He smiled at Roxy. "I would spend the entire evening fending off the hordes of your admirers." She fanned herself and grinned back at him. "You gotta love all that suave debonairness!

And then I said to her, Rachel, you're out of your ever-lovin' mind. There's no way in h-e-double-toothpicks you'd find me hookin' up with a faery, especially one of the unseelie court, no matter how well hung he is. Ya just never know with them, do ya? I hear about a witch in Quebec who crossed one of the unseelie princes, and she ended up with three breasts. Can you imagine what she goes through trying to find a bra that fits?

What, you think that just because we're demons, we don't like to stay current with world events? You think we don't like to be entertained? We're demons, not Nazis!

No, Joy, you just think gin makes you brilliant. Gin makes you sotted. Chocolate makes you brilliant.

I'm not at all the sort of woman who kisses strange dragons when she comes across them.

I'll drive. But don't you be turning into a dragon while you're in the car. I don't want those claws poking holes in my nice upholstery.

Oh, boy," Jim said, giving an excited wiggle. "Cat fight! Wish I had some popcorn.

No one likes a soused vampire!

Lady Rowena gasped in horror at the sight of Lord Raoul's majestic purple-helmeted warrior of love.

Why aren't you at your booth?" "She ran out of bats' testicles and hares' anuses," I piped up. "Is it anuses or ani?" Roxy asked in an aside, looking perplexed. "You say octopi, don't you? Shouldn't more than one hare's anus be ani?

Are you unwell? You aren't going to vomit on me, are you?" "That wasn't on my list of planned activities for the afternoon, no, but if you really insist, I suppose I could try for a hairball or something.

And you can just stop that right now, too." "Stop what?" "That," Io pointed at his crotch, "You're getting all bulgy, and I resent your penis's implication that I'm doing something to arouse you. Unless you're some sort of weirdo who gets off by women saying the word 'penis' which is frankly kinda sad.

Don't think I'm not holding you responsible for this, either, you witch!" "I think you lefth the B off that word," Jim said.

It could have been quite worse," he agreed magnanimously. "And those two guys who felt up your butt while the maintenance dude was working on that hinge were kicked out because they violated the 'must have fondler's consent' rule, or so that pink-haired woman who spoke English said, so at least they won't do that to the next guy trapped in the stocks." "I will sleep easier knowing that.

Hell," he said, looking down his body. "I shouldn't have thought about that just yet. Now Alice is going to come out of the bathroom and see you standing there being demanding. That's not very gentlemanly...." This just made him even harder. With a sigh, he snatched up her pirate hat and slapped it over his crotch. "There. Now we can at least present the semblance of a man who doesn't have a single track mind.

Stop lusting after my brother, wife." Elliott said without looking up from where a laptop sat on a large desk. "Else I'll have to get the parrot out.

Are you going to last if I start nibbling at your ankles and work my way up?" "No. You might make it to my knee, but only if I think about starving children and venereal warts.

There's a bit of a difference between a guy lying back being all sexy and come hither and mmrowr-worthy, and a man who has a toy stuffed parrot hanging from his nips.

Do they expect us to have sex right here on the kitchen table?" Gunner, who was chewing a piece of toast, paused, considered the idea, and then shook his head. "Too messy. We'd get sugar everywhere. Plus, Cressy might walk in, and then I'd have to get her a second horse.

there comes a time in everyone's life when you are tested, a moment when you learn exactly what sort of person you are. Either you triumph over such moments by sheer bravado and a sense of humor, or you sink into mortification and allow them to taint the rest of your life.