Quotes About Humor

Practice easing your way along. Don't get het up or in a dither. Do your best; take it as it comes. You can handle anything if you think you can. Just keep your cool and your sense of humor.

Human life is basically a comedy. Even its tragedies often seem comic to the spectator, and not infrequently they actually have comic touches to the victim. Happiness probably consists largely in the capacity to detect and relish them.

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle. Unless you die of something.

Lord, if you can't make me thin - can you make all my friends fat?

If I am ever stuck on a respirator or a life support system, I definitely want to be unplugged but not until I get down to size eight.

I've been on every diet in the world. The best one is the BBC diet: Buy Bigger Clothes.

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

My husband wasn't listening when the doctor asked for "a urine, stool, and semen sample" . . . so I just told him they wanted his shorts.

When the heroes go off the stage, the clowns come on.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

The teller of a mirthful tale has latitude allowed him. We are content with less than absolute truth.

He that jokes confesses.

There are things of deadly earnest that can only be safely mentioned under cover of a joke.

Humour is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humour, for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquillity.

A humorist is a man who feels bad but who feels good about it.

Wit is the only wall Between us and the dark.

Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.

Humour can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process.

Humour is the contemplation of the finite from the point of view of the infinite.

The total absence of humour from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.

Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.

A comedian is a fellow who finds other comedians too humorous to mention.