Quotes About Humor

Nonsense," Ophelia said stoutly. "They're happy sheep. You can tell." "How?" Sophia demanded. Ophelia regarded the ewes for a moment, then suddenly broke into a huge grin. "Maybe you can tell they 're happy sheep because they don't feel baaaaad.

Instantly, Lucinda fell to the floor in a swoon - Bronwyn groaned. Not again !

Beth grimaced. "He is a pompous ass." "And in dire need of a wealthy wife. Perhaps you should find a twitch to go with your stutter." "I would fall upon the floor in a fit if I thought it might do some good. The man is a menace.

It is naturally a sign of inner liberation when a patient can squarely recognize his difficulties and take them with a grain of humor. But some patients at the beginning of analysis make incessant jokes about themselves, or exaggerate their difficulties in so dramatic a way that they will appear funny, while they are at the same time absurdly sensitive to any criticism. In these instances humor is used to take the sting out of an otherwise unbearable shame.

I want a normal girlfriend. Someone restful. You know anyone like that? I'd volunteer if you were rich, I told him. Like hugely rich. I could be restful for massive sums of money. Flattered. But no.

A man at another table accused his breakfast partner of pulling rainbows and unicorns out of her ass.

Under that sexy cap, he had the brains of bivalve and I was glad not to be the one sleeping with him.

That's why they pay me the medium-sized bucks.

Oh, you are a little ray of sunshine today, aren't you? Now, look at your progesterone levels. Still higher than normal. Are you pregnant? Have you been throwing up?" "No. But I get cravings. Will I get stretch marks?" said Fi. Gilamar kept a straight face. "Yeah, say goodbye to your figure. Everything sags from now on.

If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have joined.

War is a vile thing, and it brings out the worst in beings. But it also brings out their best - courage, sacrifice, resourcefulness, tenacity, comradeship, genius, even humor. Would that we could achieve that enlightened state without shedding blood first.

The higher the hair, the closer to God.

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

A few years ago when she'd read Paul several passages from Fifty Shades of Grey, they'd both giggled like teenagers. The biggest fantasy in that book, Paul had said, is that he changes in the end.

Lydia supposed his headstone had been ordered. Something large and garish made of the finest marble and phallic shaped because being dead didn't stop you from being a dick.

Will had found out the hard way that it's nearly impossible to go to sleep with a flatulent Chihuahua sharing your pillow.

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

I'm not sure," Callie said. "As you know, cats choose not to talk because they're afraid we'll make them pay taxes.

My court-appointed therapist would say I was trying to fill a hole." "Is that what you call your vagina?" Claire chuckled under her breath.

The spiral stairs looked like a robot's asshole.

Never share a bathroom with a man.

At this rate, the only way she was going to get laid was to crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

Thank you for that." Between thirty-two hours of labor and the looming specter of menopause, Lydia was lucky her bladder wasn't hanging between her knees like a cow's udder.