Quotes About Humor

If you want to make people laugh, your face must remain serious.

I am writing My Life so that I may laugh at myself, and I am succeeding.

I am writing My Life to laugh at myself, and I am succeeding.

Thanks to God, I'm an atheist.

Secondo te qual è la qualità più importante per una persona? -Il senso dell'umorismo. Se hai il senso dell'umorismo-non l'ironia, o il sarcasmo, che sono un'altra cosa- non ti prendi sul serio. E allora non puoi essere cattivo, non puoi essere stupido o non puoi essere volgare. Se ci pensi comprende quasi tutto.

I'm a jokester, so when I was joking on Twitter, it kinda rubbed people the wrong way. And I was like, I didn't make these up. I'm just letting you know they're there.

It is not funny that anything else should fall down only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

If you convey to a woman that something ought to be done, there is always a dreadful danger that she will suddenly do it.

Beans beans the magical fruit the more you eat the more you toot the more you eat the better you feel so let's eat beans for every meal.

Coincidences are spiritual puns.

A person who has a good nose for arguments or jokes may have a bad head for facts.

Never let a gynecologist put anything in your nose.

comedy was about what was wrong with the world—people laughed because something was too big, or too small, or too much, or not enough. Quirks and exaggerations were the essence of parody. Irony and discomfort the grist for humor.

If you laugh at it, you're stepping over the corpses. And if you work with him, well, it's worse.

Not many weapons could relieve a man of his underwear.

I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to love cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we'd say, Yeah, he's a Cool Guy.

Ever look at a sink full of dishes and think, "Why don't I just bury these in the backyard?

Like most women, I've spent far too much time shuffling around this mortal coil looking for non-horror-show toilets. Few of my male counterparts partake of this quest. Instead, with the cheerful insouciance of Labrador puppies, they regard the earth as their urinal.

Not only do women hold up half the sky; we do it while carrying a 500-pound purse.

There are now skin products supposedly created with 24-karat gold extract. I guess if financial times got really tough, you could always pawn your own head.

Comics know that time plus pain equals humor and that we can redeem even awful moments from the past by translating them into a shared experience.

A truly thoughtful lover would not attempt to arouse you with the subtlety of a chimp trying to dial a rotary phone.

When the Apocalypse comes, you'll find me pushing Marie Antoinette out of the way and saying, 'Let me eat cake! Forget them; I want the cake! Two helpings! I have some friends with me! Is there coffee with the cake, Marie? I'm just asking.

What doesn't polite society, in all seriousness, want to discuss? Sex, money, political corruption, bodily functions, religion, loss and despair? These have been the very subjects attracting writers of comedy since Aristophanes penned "Lysistrata" as a vehicle for the young Joan Rivers.