Quotes About Humor

I, Kim Heechul, was born to successfully make women fall in love with me. It's not my fault. It's not of my own free will. My mother and father created this face.

Punch a man on the nose, kick an old man downstairs, shoot somebody or any old thing like that, that's my job. But argue with women in love—no thank you!

Women comedy is different than men comedy. Guy comedy is very aggressive, it's about insulting each other, name-calling, and kind of busting each other's chops, and that's not what women's comedy is.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

I just know that there are two theories when arguing with women. And neither one works.

Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get guys that want to take me fishing.

You know who must be very secure in their masculinity? Male ladybugs.

Women were afraid of me, they were scared to death. But I always say be yourself, if you're funny then let your sense of humor go there. I mean there's no sense hiding what you feel.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you

The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.

I love funny women, and just being around them talking is fine with me. I love an interesting mind.

Three women walk into a pub and say, 'Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'

"My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is they never wink back." It's kind of the perfect joke because it's a bait and switch.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

Since 99.362% of women love mustache rides, it seems only a fool would have a bare upper lip.

I've had three wives, six children and six grandchildren and I still don't understand women

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men

When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.

Irish women are always carrying water on their heads, and always carrying their husbands home from pubs. Such things are the greatest posture-builders in the world.

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

I do not envy the headache you will have when you awake. In the meantime, dream of large women.