Quotes About Humor

I was funny—ha-ha, not peculiar. It was a modest currency, like pennies: pedestrian, somewhat laborious, but a currency nonetheless.

I think you killed me," he announced. "Then I hope there's an afterlife," she teased back.

Fai: *punches Kurogane* That was payback, Kuro-sama! Kurogane: *grins* You're gonna get punched out, you creep!

Hey, if you're going to sleep in the middle of the road, I'm going to sit on you.

A floating catfish cake doesn't sink!

You'd have to say his bad point was not having any bad points. Don't tell him I said so.

Forks are absurd, he scoffed. They insult your food. They make it think you're killing it twice.

Hello sheriff, give me another nose

Give me B movies or give me death!

There was no harm done; and what would a Resurrection be without a few laughs?

What I do know is that I have never found clowns remotely funny. I am not alone in this, I think. More people find clowns disturbing or distressing rather than raucously amusing. Is it that the nature of human existence has changed so radically in the last century or so that what was funny to our grandparents and great-grandparents is now tragic or terrifying?

Not a whisper of flatulence would dare this man's bowels.

what would a Resurrection be without a few laughs?

He offered her a grin designed for better teeth.

To my new friends. May misfortune follow you the rest of your lives, but never catch up.

What do you expect me to do, leap across space and brain them with the jawbone of an ass? Or maybe they'll go away if I throw ricks at them?

That madwoman threatened to shoot off my testicles.

IF GOD MEANT TEXANS TO SKI, HE'D HAVE MADE COWSHIT WHITE.

I knew it. We've expired and gone to Disneyland.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

They asked me how I would be paying and I told them that if past experience was anything to go by probably with my life and the thin girl with the thick spectacles reached deep into her soul for a smile and repeated the question.

Alison was snoring gently, and I was thinking about what would happen if I pinched her nose. And covered her mouth. The head is so full of holes, and the ear, nose and throat are supposedly connected; you would wonder why it isn't possible to breathe through your ears.

I tried talking to Jesus, but he just put me on hold...

Mr Chubb did not so much mind his subordinates being impertinent–that was, after all, a form of acknowledging inferiority; what he dreaded was that any of them might say something really funny without his recognising it.