Quotes About Humor

It was called Operation Coitus Interruptus, which only goes to prove that there are some people in the FBI with a sense of humor.

Um, hi." I finally squeak out a few words. "The other day at school, we had this substitute teacher. Very tough. Sort of like Mrs. Darth Vader. Had the heavy breathing, the deep voice. During roll call, she said, 'Are you chewing gum, young man?' And I said, 'No, I'm Jamie Grimm.' " I wait (for what seems like hours) and, yes, the audience kind of chuckles. It's not a huge laugh, but it's a start. Okay.

one of his clamps, which are supposed to be like hands. "Was that a joke? If so

James Patterson

This should be about as interesting as a rectal exam done with a cactus." Dowd

many people are surprised to hear that there are comedians in Russia, but they are there. They're dead, but they're there.

He's even funnier than that sit-down/stand-up comedian kid I heard about, Jamie Grimm.

Come see-us, in our Pri-us. Wouldn't want to be-us, in our Pri-us.

Fred, came home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and looked very tired. 'Bad day at the course?' his wife asked. " 'Everything was going fine,' said Fred. 'Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the tenth tee.' 'Oh, that's awful!' said the wife. 'You are not kidding,' said Fred. 'For the whole back nine, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry.

On a good day, she - as funny and loud, as effervescent as a glass of Champagne; on a bad day she was like Napoleon with lipstick and PMS.

you niggers, is when you set in to tryin' to think," said Leander Purneau. He spoke in a friendly, jokey

Actually, it was more like they thought I was going to take off all my clothes and streak through the hallway.

All I'm saying is that laughing is healthy. A lot healthier than getting socked in the stomach.

So, how do you make a tissue dance?" I cringe a bit. "Put a little boogey in it?

laughed as hard as I did—harder sometimes. I kept sneaking glances at her: shoulders shaking, handkerchief pressed to her mouth. I was happy she was having such a good time. I was no author, no satirist, no raconteur, but I did know that the humor of this man Clemens was different. Besides being funny, every word he spoke was the absolute truth.

Remember when that huge, homeless, toothless man you brought in hugged you?" Maeve said with a hard laugh. "What did he say? 'You ain't like those other jive turkeys, man. You care.'" "No," I said, laughing with her now. "He said, 'Man, you're the nicest damn honky I ever met.

Do zombies eat doughnuts with their fingers?" you might ask. No. They usually eat their fingers separately.

it's pretty hard for a bully to give you a triple nipple cripple if he's doubled over

You funny!" howled Nikita. "No," I said. "That's an entirely different book series starring Jamie Grimm. He funny. We Kidds. We treasure hunters.

Move over, Wimpy Kid—RAFE K. has arrived!

I was going to take off all my clothes and streak through the hallway.

his eyes sarcastically. "Actually, my

Now, I don't know if you can appreciate this without actually knowing her, but getting Mrs. Stricker to laugh is like getting an octopus to stand up on two legs.

did you hear about the kid who drank eight Cokes? He burped seven up!