Quotes About Humor

Now, don't get all weepy on me dear reader.No chin-quivering or nose-sniveling, either. These pages do not need to be all soggy with your mucus.

Have you ever done something extremely stupid like, oh, I don't know, try to make a room filled with total strangers laugh until their sides hurt? Totally

Wasn't this great?" Nudge asked excitedly. "I can't believe we're in the White House! I want to be president someday." "I'll be vice president," the Gasman offered. "You guys would be great," I said politely. Yes, they could run on the Mutant Party ticket, with a freak-of-nature platform. No prob. I'm sure America is ready for that.

Between Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, and Dorothy Parker, everything worth saying has already been said, and said better than i could ever say it

Excuse me, sir, you got dog poop on your shoe.

If you're going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. Things are almost never as bad as they first seem. Loosen up, girlfriend!

Okay, so how, exactly, did I get into this mess—up onstage at a comedy club, baking like a bag of French fries under a hot spotlight that shows off my sweat stains( including one that sort of looks like Jabba the Hutt), with about a thousand beady eyeballs drilling into me?

I loved laughing with him, loved that he could make me laugh.

Rafe was trying to convince an older couple that they needed an extra toilet.

And no southern jokes, please. Ick.

The Gasman leaned over and examined the tangled pile of stereo guts spread out on the kitchen table. "It looks like a robot came in here and threw up," he observed

No, what's the best way to catch a fish?" Angel asked again. Oh. "I don't know?" I said warily. "Have someone throw it to you!" Angel laughed, I groaned, and, next to me, Total chuckled.

I mentally reviewed possible responses: 1) Sardonic laughter (always good) 2) Rolled eyes and snort of disbelief 3) Sarcastic "You have got to be kidding me." Any

Your brothers have set off a stink bomb in the second-floor boys' lavatory

Never underestimate the power of a good laugh.

quivering, as if she couldn't decide whether to laugh or frown. I love my mom, and I have no idea how she can find Rafe funny. It must be a gene I missed. "So, are you two excited for your first day?" Mom asked. Changing the subject. Nicely done, Mom. "I can't wait," Rafe and I said together. Only his voice clearly meant "I can wait," while my voice meant "I'm so excited that I'm about to explode!

All of us shrinks talk about VFC when we get together. Very fucking crazy, Gerry.

Anne is quite the animal lover," Fang said to me as we followed Angel. "Horses, sheep, goats. Chickens. Pigs." "Yeah," I said. "I wonder who's for dinner?

Why did Piglet, Eeyore, and Christopher Robin stick their heads down the toilet? Easy. They were looking for Pooh.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Now I have a shot at being the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic. "The planet Earth?" asks Phineas of—you guessed it—Phineas and Ferb. "Or Mars? We built a portal to Mars for the science fair once.

Terrible. This morning, when I put on my underwear, I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.

If you're going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now...Things are almost never as bad as they first seem. Loosen up, girlfriend... you could giggle more in real life.

Galapagos tortoise," she said. "I'm one hundred and seven years old." "Huh. And you don't look a day over a hundred and five," I said.