Quotes About Humor

A vet! I started laughing weakly and had to sit on the edge of the tub. A vet. Wait till they found out how appropriate that was.

You could have gotten a car with GPS, Total said helpfully. Yes, I said Or we could have brought along a dog that doesn't talk. I gave Angel a pointed look, and she smiled, well, angelically, at me. Total huffed, offended at me and climbed into her lap...

guess they forgot to program us with any respect for authority. well, I have a highly developed sense of irony.

What are you guys doing? If you anted me to take a shower, all you had to do was pay me ten bucks, like you usually do

My choices were to either give in and let them kill all of us or fight back with everything I had. I chose the second one, 'cause I'm just funny that way.

We try not to encourage demonstrations of his mastery of the gaseous arts.

Does anything on you work properly? Asked ter Borcht. Well, I do have a highly developed sense of irony. Replied Iggy.

It's always refreshing to meet someone crazier than us, I said. We seem so normal afterward.

Never underestimate the power of funny, it moves mountains.

Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. He needs a Band-Aid, I said. A look passed between me and Fang, full of suppressed humor, relief, understanding,love — Forget I said that too. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Fang (sarcasticaly): Go pick out a tree and I'll carve our initials in it. Max: (screams and goes in the bathroom)

Walking over to Iggy, he poked him with his shoe. Does anysing on you vork properly? Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony.

There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.

I found this, though, Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm thinking I rig this with a detonator and- Did you find that in the medicine cabinet? Dylan asked. Yeah. It's for upset stomachs, Dylan said, trying to hide a smile. He pointed to the words on the box. It's to reduce gas in you digestive system, not to create more gas to make explosions. Gazzy's face fell as Iggy said, Really? Gazzy, take it! Take the whole box!

I love you more than I love goats, and you know how I feel about goats, Gaby said.

Irony sort of reaches up and slaps you in the face sometimes, doesn't it?

Sheep!" Angel cried, catching sight of some fluffy brown wool. "Anne is quite the animal lover," Fang said to me as we followed Angel. "Horses, sheep, goats. Chickens. Pigs." "Yeah," I said. "I wonder who's for dinner?" He flashed one of his rare smiles at me, and it was like the sun coming out. I felt my cheeks get hot and strode on ahead.

I'm in shape...Round's a shape.

Don't you ever get a headache, with that halo hanging around your ears all the time

She's about as sweet as a flaming turd.

If you wanted me to take a shower, you should have payed me ten bucks like you usually do!

Hey, Axi. What's the difference between a doctor and a lawyer?" I knew this joke—it was one of Robinson's standards. And I was only half-surprised he was trotting it out now. Playing along, I said, "I don't know. What?" "A lawyer will rob you; a doctor will rob you and kill you, too.

I'm sure some of you get sent to your rooms sometimes by your parents. All I have to say is, the next time it happens and you're lying there all mad thinking about how hard your life is, just picture me standing next to you, ready to smack you upside the head. When I get sent to my room, it's in a freaking dungeon! With rats!

That's right: Never underestimate the power of a good laugh. It can stop some of the fiercest middle-school monsters.