Quotes About Humor

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast

We should treat all the trivial things of life seriously, and all the serious things of life with sincere and studied triviality.

A good doctor. He would not let her take pills. Try each day just to laugh a little bit, it's a good medicine, he said. Pills were a second option. I should have taken them. No. Better off to try laughing. Die laughing.

Mesdames, un conseil. Si vous cherchez un homme beau, riche et intelligent... Prenez-en trois ! lol

American beer like sex on boat. Both fucking close to water.

Man who get kicked in testicles left holding bag

are you from tennessee? because you're the only 10 I see

Man who fart in church, sit in pew.

She'd stood by that creed. No softness, because the world wasn't soft; lots of laughter, because if you were in on the joke, the joke couldn't be on you; And no wanting what you couldn't take, because the world never gave. Or so she'd thought.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition." —Monty Python's Flying Circus

This gave me an early taste for humorous authors, of which there were—and are—far too few (though there are lots who labor under the misapprehension that they're funny.)

Somebody has been fuckin my watermelons.

It's just that sometimes I think I would have found my life pretty funny if I hadnt had to live it.

I agreed with him that there wasnt a whole lot good you could say about old age and he said he knew one thing and I said what is that. And he said it dont last long. I waited for him to smile but he didnt.

Imi aduc aminte cind s-a pensionat tata si mama i-a spus: "Am zis ca la bine si la rau, dar n-am zis nimic despre prinz.

Buddy when he come back from up in the panhandle told me one time it quit blowin up there and all the chickens fell over.

sometimes I think I would have found my life pretty funny if I hadnt had to live it.

Harrogate grinned uneasily. They tried to get me for beast, beast … Bestiality? Yeah. But my lawyer told em a watermelon wasnt no beast. He was a smart son of a bitch. Oh boy, said Suttree.

The highballs are on me. As the giraffe said to the bartender.

Stop me if you've heard this one. Mickey Mouse is filing for divorce and the judge looks down and he says: I understand that it is your contention that your wife Minnie Mouse is mentally deranged. Is that correct? And Mickey says: No, Your Honor, that's not what I said. What I said was she's fucking nuts. The

How about this: What's black and white and red all over? I cant begin to think. Trotsky in a tuxedo. Great. Okay. How about this one. A farmer finds two boll weevils in his cotton patch. You told me. I never. He chose the lesser of two weevils.

Oh, putrid puffballs! Stop winding us all up like this or I'll tie a knot in your tail!

I think I'll buy you from your father so you can say nice things like that to me three times a day. How much for her, Mo?

Voglio dire che io fiuto le belle storie a chilometri di distanza. Quindi non tenti di nascondermene una. Sputi fuori, forza, e in cambio si guadagna una fetta di questo fantastico dolce con i buchi - soggiunse in tono scherzoso.