Quotes About Humor

Satire is focused bitterness.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

Da uno che non sa ridere non ci si può aspettare misericordia.

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.

Humor is, I think, the sublets and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist. It is a long, long time between James Thurbers

A young khokhem told his grandmother that he was going to become a doctor of philosophy. The bubbe smiled proudly: "Wonderful. But what kind of disease is 'philosophy'?

Jewish dropout: a boy who didn't get his Ph.D. —ANON

George S. Kaufman, a prince of wit, once remarked that he liked to write with his collaborator, Moss Hart, because Hart was so lucky. "In my case," said Kaufman, "it's gelt by association.

Why is sholem used for both "hello" and "good-bye"? Israelis say: "Because we have so many problems that half the time we don't know whether we're coming or going.

In the Catskills, it is claimed that an ingenious gentleman crossbred a Guernsey with a Holstein—to get a Goldstein.

A Jew, crossing the street, bumped into an anti-Semite. "Swine!" bellowed the paskudnyak. "Goldberg," said the Jew, bowing.

I think of a shmegegge as a cross between a shlimazl and a shlemiel—or even between a nudnik and a nebekh.

Sholem Aleichem defined a shadkhn as "a dealer in livestock.

Dr. M. J. Kornblum and Dr. Albert Steinhoff, both obstetricians, share an office. On the door, under their office hours, some lets printed: 24-HOUR SERVICE … WE DELIVER

Two shlemiels were drinking tea. In time, one looked up and announced portentously: "Life! What is it? Life—is like a fountain!" The other pondered for a few minutes, then asked, "Why?" The first thought and thought, then sighed. "So okay: life isn't like a fountain.

Mr. Samuel Goldwyn once remarked, during a dinner table argument about psychiatry: "Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

A Bulgarian proverb goes: "When you baptize a Jew, hold him underwater for five minutes.

Mr. Abraham, driven to desperation by the endless delays of the tailor who was making him a pair of trousers, finally cried, "Tailor, in the name of Heaven, it has already taken you six weeks!" "So?" "So, you ask? Six weeks for a pair of pants? Reboyne Shel Oylem! It took God only six days to create the universe!" "Nu," shrugged the tailor, "look at it….

The play The Kibitzer, by Jo Swerling (1929), made both the title and its star, Edward G. Robinson, famous overnight. The sign on the door read: DR. JOSEPH KIPNIS PSYCHIATRIST DR. ELI LOWITZ PROCTOLOGIST Under this, a kibitzer had written: "Specialists in Odds and Ends.

No one is satisfied with his position, but every one is satisfied with his wit

When I first went to HVMS, Miller made my life about as enjoyable as a box of rabbit poo that you thought was juicy raisins.

Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life.

A guy comes into the library with an overdue book. The librarian says, 'This book about amnesia was due four weeks ago!' The guy says, 'Really? I forgot.

I'm wondering if you can speed this story up a bit," Ms. Jordan said. "I spilled pudding on Missy Trillin's head while she was taking a pee." "I see." Ms. Jordan nodded. "Now I think we're getting somewhere.