Quotes About Humor

On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps...

It has never been hard to tell the difference between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

The funny thing was that he wasn't altogether a fool in other ways. Deep down in him there was a kind of stratum of sense. I had known him, once or twice, show an almost human intelligence. But to reach that stratum, mind you, you needed dynamite.

She laughed - a bit louder than I could have wished in my frail state of health, but then she is always a woman who tends to bring plaster falling from the ceiling when amused.

A lesser moustache, under the impact of that quick, agonised expulsion of breath, would have worked loose at the roots.

Honoria, you see, is one of those robust, dynamic girls with the muscles of a welter-weight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge. A beastly thing to have to face over the breakfast table. Brainy, moreover. The sort of girl who reduces you to pulp with sixteen sets of tennis and a few rounds of golf and then comes down to dinner as fresh as a daisy, expecting you to take an intelligent interest in Freud.

Angela nearly got inhaled by a shark while aquaplaning.

She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape.

In his normal state he would not strike a lamb. I've known him to do it' 'Do what?' 'Not strike lambs

There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.

Jeeves, Mr Little is in love with that female. So I gathered, sir. She was slapping him in the passage. I clutched my brow. Slapping him? Yes, sir. Roguishly.

If she ever turned into a werewolf, it would be one of those jolly breezy werewolves whom it is a pleasure to know.

I wonder the food didn't turn to ashes in our mouths! Eggs! Muffins! Sardines! All wrung from the bleeding lips of the starving poor! Oh, I say! What a beastly idea!... Jeeves came in to clear away, and found me sitting among the ruins. It was all very well for Comrade Butt to knock the food, but he had pretty well finished the ham; and if you had shoved the remainder of the jam into the bleeding lips of the starving poor it would hardly have made them sticky.

Good Lord, Jeeves! Is there anything you don't know?' 'I couldn't say, sir.

He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do.

There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots.

She was definitely the sort of girl who puts her hands over a husband's eyes, as he is crawling in to breakfast with a morning head, and says: 'Guess who!

I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare – or, if not, some equally brainy bird – who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneakes up behind him with a bit of lead piping

Don't they put aunts in Turkey in sacks and drop them in the Bosphorus?' 'Odalisques, sir, I understand. Not aunts.

It's brain, I said; pure brain! What do you do to get like that, Jeeves? I believe you must eat a lot of fish, or something. Do you eat a lot of fish, Jeeves? No, sir. Oh, well, then, it's just a gift, I take it; and if you aren't born that way there's no use worrying.

He sat looking at it with his eyes protruding in the manner popularized by snails, looking like something stuffed by a taxidermist who had learned his job from a correspondence course and had only got as far as lesson three.

Change of scene is the thing. I head of a man. Girl refused him. Man went abroad. Two months later girl wired him Come back, Muriel. Man started to write out a reply; suddenly found that he couldn't remember girl's surname; so never answered at all, and lived happily ever after.

Stimulated by the juice, I believe, men have even been known to ride alligators.

He made a noise like a pig swallowing half a cabbage