Quotes About Humor

it's hard to march purposefully, or in any other way, when your thighs are screaming like Richard Simmons in a candy store- good God, stop the madness.

Heath was still Heath--cute, but not the brightest Crayola in the pack.

Zoey~ 'Listen to me, whinning about money and a scarf. Ah, hell! I'm starting to sound like Aphrodite.' Stark~ 'If you turn into Aprodite I'm going to stab myself.' Zoey~ 'If I turn into Aprodite, stab me first.' Stark~ 'Deal.' Zoey~ 'Deal.

Neferet, you're nuttier than squirrel turds.

Oh. Yeah. That does make sense." Shaylin hesitated. "But I don't know which dorm room is hers." "Third floor, number thirty-six. When they shared a brain, they used to say it stood for their chest size. I said it was their combined IQ." "Of course you did," Shaylin said. "See, you do understand me!" Aphrodite said with fake enthusiasm.

Damien has died and gone straight to gay boy heaven,' Shaunee said...

P.C. Cast Kristin Cast

I say! he said. Are you broke? Nelly laughed. Am I? If dollars were doughnuts, I wouldn't even have the hole in the middle.

I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit.

In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his head first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him.

You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

Warm-hearted! I should think he has to wear asbestos vests!

I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.

It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.

Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?

It was my Uncle George who discovered alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

Jeeves, I'm engaged. I hope you will be very happy, sir. Don't be an ass. I'm engaged to Miss Bassett.

Birds, except when broiled and in the society of a cold bottle, bored him stiff.

How does he look, Jeeves? Sir? What does Mr Bassington-Bassington look like? It is hardly my place, sir, to criticize the facial peculiarities of your friends.

Good God, Clarence! You look like a bereaved tapeworm.