Quotes About Humor

Young Reggie Foljambe to my certain knowledge offered him double what I was giving him, and Alistair Bingham-Reeves, who's got a valet who had been known to press his trousers sideways, used to look at him, when he came to see me, with a kind of glittering, hungry eye which disturbed me deucedly. Bally pirates!

Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably. 'Go to hell!' said Bill. 'Right-ho,' said his lordship.

She did not cease to look like a basilisk, but she began to look like a basilisk who has had a good lunch.

He looked like a horse with a secret sorrow. He coughed three times, like a horse who, in addition to a secret sorrow, had contracted asthma.

It seems rummy that water should be so much wetter when you go into it with your clothes on than when you're just bathing, but take it from me that it is.

Planting his foot firmly on a golf-ball which the Hon. Freddie Threepwood, who had been practising putting in the corridor before retiring to bed, had left in his casual fashion just where the steps began, he took the entire staircase in one majestic, volplaning sweep. There were eleven stairs in all separating his landing from the landing below, and the only ones he hit were the third and tenth.

You don't think, John, that you might ultimately come to love Agnes Flack?' 'I do not.' 'Love frequently comes after marriage, I believe.' 'So does suicide.

Man and boy, Jeeves, I have been in some tough spots in my time, but this one wins the mottled oyster.

hoping that this was some jolly practical joke and that the real chap would shortly jump out from behind a chair and say "Boo!

He was, for a young man, extraordinarily obese. Already a second edition of his chin had been published

About two hours afterwards Gethryn discovered a suitable retort, but, coming to the conclusion that better late than never does not apply to repartees, refrained from speaking it.

The man was goggling. His entire map was suffused with a rich blush. He looked like the Soul's Awakening done in pink.

But, Bill, old scout, your sister says there's a most corking links near here. He turned and stared at me, and nearly ran us into the bank. You don't mean honestly she said that? She said you said it was better than St. Andrews. So I did. Was that all she said I said? Well, wasn't it enough? She didn't happen to mention that I added the words, 'I don't think'? No, she forgot to tell me that. It's the worst course in Great Britain.

Dear old Bicky, though a stout fellow and absolutely unrivaled as an imitator of bull-terriers and cats, was in many ways one of the most pronounced fatheads that ever pulled on a suit of gent's underwear.

You see I'm wearing the tie,' said Bingo. 'It suits you beautiful,' said the girl. Personally, if anyone had told me that a tie like that suited me, I should have risen and struck them on the mazzard, regardless of their age and sex; but poor old Bingo simply got all flustered with gratification, and smirked in the most gruesome manner. 'Well

Lady Constance conveyed the impression that anybody who had the choice between stealing anything from her and stirring up a nest of hornets with a short walking-stick would do well to choose the hornets.

Cupid, who never shoots with a surer aim than through the steam of boarding-house hash, sniped him where he sat.

It went automatically to a heavy-weight mother with beetling eyebrows who looked as if she had just come from doing a spot of knitting at the foot of the guillotine.

But lots of fellows have asked me who my tailor is." "Doubtless in order to avoid him, sir." "He's supposed to be one of the best men in London." "I am saying nothing against his moral character, sir.

At present, he's got the idea that I'm a kind of ... Who was the chap who was such a devil with the other sex? ... Donald something. Donald Duck?' Don Juan. That's the fellow I mean

The Rocky Mountains, that traditional stamping-ground for the heartbroken, may be well enough in their way; but a lover has to be cast in a pretty stem mould to be able to be introspective when at any moment he may meet an annoyed cinnamon bear.

of the afternoon Mr. Fitz-Wattle----

P.G. Wodehouse

Bertie," said Bingo reproachfully, "I saved your life once." "When?" "Didn't I? It must have been some other fellow, then." ("Jeeves in the Springtime")