Quotes About Humor

If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.

Niceness, he realised, was not enough, and Love was only part of the rest. You had to have laughter, too. Laughter would make everything come out right in the end, or if it didn't nobody would notice.

I think I would say 'The King's Speech' is surprisingly funny, in fact the audiences in London, Toronto, LA, New York commented there's more laughter in this film than in most comedies, while it is also a moving tear-jerker with an uplifting ending.

You're...standing...in...my...KUMQUATS!

No atheists in foxholes, they say. I think that, given the power of the Holy Spirit as manifested in the Glenlivet distillery, there shall soon be only good Roman Catholics afloat. Well . . . and perhaps the odd Presbyterian. Now if only I can find something suitable to bless for the benefit of Sinbad

Clio, the patron goddess of history, has a sense of humor; she teaches us that not all problems have solutions

Het potsierlijk gemorste lopend voedsel, de drinkbeker voor kleuters in de handen van een huilende negentigjarige, de onbehandelbare pijnen, de stoma's, de urinezakjes hangend aan een kapstok naast het bed dat je niet meer verlaat, de nooit eindigende tragikomedie van de ontlasting. Dat ganse bittere repertoire van kots en kak.

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Kids: get away from the cell phones, get away from the computers, and mail someone a fish before it's too late.

The body consists of three parts: the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain. The borax contains the heart and lungs and the abominable cavity contains the bowels of which there are five: a, e, i, o, u.

I don't think two blokes having the same fucking argument for 16 years over and over is the stuff of opera. Oasis: the Opera would be very short. The fat lady would refuse to sing it.

Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record.

We are bored in the city, to still discover mysteries on the signs along the street, latest state of humor and poetry, requires getting damned tired... Gilles Ivain (aka Ivan Chtcheglov)

I'd seen more menace in a Care Bear.

A sense of humor...is superior to any religion so far devised.

Professor Ball has a thing about gays. His wife married one.

The man who said the pen was mightier than the sword ought to have tried reading "The Mill on the Floss" to Motor Mechanics.

Meditó durante la hora de Reafirmación de Género para Mujeres Maduras, ninguna de las cuales necesitaba que le enseñaran a reafirmarse a sí misma. De hecho se reafirmaban tan estupendamente que lo único que tenía que hacer Wilt era dejar que hablaran.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

Screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice shame on me. Screw me three times...can I at least get a reach around?

From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked.

It is a defect of God's humor that he directs our hearts everywhere but to those who have a right to them.