Quotes About Humor

Tommy Fat guy in a little coat.

Tommy If I wanted a kiss I'd call your mother.

The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy.

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already.

spoon, jar, jar jar spoon

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

Two blondes walk into a building. You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

We are really living the American dream, to be a successful brand in the States and in Europe and to steep ourselves in our heritage. But we do it with a sense of humor. We don't take ourselves too seriously in fashion.

College is where I realized that God didn't need seven days to create the earth. He could party for six days, and pull an all-nighter.

I don't think I would describe my sense of humor. Doesn't sound like the kind of thing I'd do.

I've made some bad movies. And I really enjoyed it!

Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you

You can't fix stupid . . . even with duct tape.

[Mama] follows us around hoping we'll sneeze So she can have the tissue "For my scrapbook please."

I don't make mistakes. I make predictions which immediately turn out to be wrong.

Clement Attlee, who looked like a sadistic sanitary inspector...

I wouldn't be caught dead marring a woman old enough to be my wife.