Quotes About Humor

Patriotism is a joke in the UK.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.

Have I made my peace with God? I didn't know we'd quarreled!

I want to make people laugh and I want to try to encourage world peace.

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

I became at peace with the darkness or the personality that I have. I am usually pretty funny and happy.

When people are laughing, they're generally not killing one another.

I come in peace...Take me to your lizard.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive.

How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.

Laughing at something is a form of accepting it or at list making peace with it.

Huh? Windows was designed to keep the idiots away from Unix so we could hack in peace. Let's not break that.

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Laughter is a tranquilizer without after-effects.

He was, she reflected, almost rudely like a tortoise; and she was glad her friend kept none as pets or they might have suspected mockery.

Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!

I don't have a computer. I'm going to wait until that whole fad is over. I was suckered in on the Pet Rock. Not twice, people.

Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?

My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

Support your right to arm bears.